The Rapporto I wish I had
by CMN-marie
Summary: With love comes pain. It hurts. So for this typical, high school girl, love is her enemy. That is until she finally finds her self happy, only to have that taken from her, along with the only person she's ever truly loved. This is when her life gets hard.
1. Welcome To My Life

OMC

OMC**! Guys, I'm so excited to be writing this story!! I know that I still have to finish It's All Emmett's Fault, but I had this idea, and honestly, I thing that story kind of sucks. Some of you may like it, but I don't think I ams doing a good enough job on that. I WILL FINISH it though, I promise! In the meantime though, I have this story! I hope you guys enjoy it! I am very giddy right now!! BTW!! Oh and sorry if this isn't the best first chapter, but the second one is better, and I know I told all of you that the epilogue for my other story University of Chicago (hi, im mr right, i heard you were looking for me) would be finished a long time ago, and it was supposed to be, but a lot has been going on, personal problems, but it's close to being done and chapter six of It's All Emmett's Fault is close to being done too, and updates will definitely not be as often as usual, im starting school back soon, which means homework, after school practice, a social life and whatnot. Another thing, hailee and I have a myspace for our fanfiction thing, because we were very bored one night and there was nothing else to do, the info is on our fanfiction profile. Anyway, tell me how you guys like this story, and i accept constructive critisism, or whatever, but please don't be rude about it, and like I said, not the best first chapter ever, but the second is better.**

Rapporto means relationship in Italian**! So in other word this story is 'The Relationship I wish I had' but I like Rapporto better!**

**This chapter is named after the song 'Welcome To My Life' bu Simple Plan! It also has an alternate name too, cause I liked both.**

Chapter 1: Welcome To My Life (Only In My Dreams)

"Hey Bella…" I heard a silky voice call me. I whipped my head around to see Edward standing there with that gorgeous crooked smile plastered on his face.

"Hey…" I said halfheartedly, forcing a small smile when I saw the beautiful brunette latched onto his right arm. Edward and I met in the first grade. It was around Thanksgiving and we were making pilgrim hats. We all had a bowl of glue for each table. I had finished my hat, and it looked horrible, with glue oozing all down the sides and smeared all over the hat were little buttons and sequins. Rosalie, my best friend back then, was sitting at the blue table, along with the other 'popular kids' Edward Cullen and Lauren Mallory. She called for me to come over. Edward and I had not exchanged but three words before that day, and I thought he was mean because he never talked to me, but I went over to sit with Rosalie anyway.

"Look at my hat, Bella!" Rosalie had squealed excitedly, while smiling her toothy grin. She was missing her two front teeth.

"That's _so _cool, Rosalie!" I said just as excited as she was. Although, I was a little disappointed because mine was hideous.

"Let me see yours." Rose said bluntly.

"What…" I squawked, panic staring to surface in my tone.

"Show me your hat!" She said very enthusiastic. By now, everyone at the table was looking at me. I really didn't want to show them my hat, but I was kind of put on the spot.

"Um.. okay." I pulled my hat out from under the table trying to make sure that only Rosalie saw, but Lauren pulled the hat from my hands and started showing the whole table.

"Look at Bella's hat everyone!" She squealed.

"Hey, give that back!" I yelled at her.

Now everyone was laughing as I hopped up and down trying to reach the little twit across the table.

She was just giggling, giddy as ever that she could embarrass someone that day. I, of course, being the klutz that I am, I jumped up to high, tripping over Edward Cullen's chair-who sat right next to Rosalie. I tumbled onto the floor, but not before bumping my elbow into Edward's head, causing him to smack his face into the bowl of glue and glitter. Oh, he also smashed his hat in the process.

Yep, that was the day that scarred me for life. Stupid really, but Edward hated me because for the rest of the year, he was called 'Glitter Glue' which wasn't that bad, but whatever.

Now, though, we were in twelfth grade. Seniors at last. I was brought back to the present, giggling at the memory. It was funny, not that bad.

"Um…Bella?" Jessica waved her hand in front of my face, bringing me back from my flashback.

Jessica Stanly was one of my good friends. She moved to the secluded town of Forks in eighth grade and we instantly became friends. Then Jessica started meeting other people and hanging out with them, introducing me to them in the process. That's how I met my other friends Alice Brandon and Angela Webber. We all became good friends over the year, and when we got into high school, Alice became friends with Rosalie and Edward. She still always made me sit with her though. That meant that I had to sit with Rosalie, Edward, and a bunch of other people that I didn't really know or like, such as Mike Newton. He wasn't all that bad, but he's always has this _thing _for me that has made me a little uncomfortable. I met a few other people like Eric Yorkie, Tyler Crawly, but the one that's made the biggest impact on me was Alice's step-brother, Emmett McCarty. He was a year ahead of all of us, but whenever I went over to Alice's house, I would talk to him, and I got to know him a lot better than most people did, and he was really the only person besides Alice, Angela and Jessica that I talked to at lunch. He was my best friend. Unfortunately though, he's off to college this year, which left me in an uncomfortable situation.

I was stuck sitting with all of these people that I hardly talked to, so that's when Edward started talking to me. Our first conversation was the second week of our senior year. He just looked over to me and started grinning. I asked him what he was grinning about and he simply answered by asking me if I remembered the day in first grade when I knocked his face into the glue. I just laughed and nodded. Since then though, we have become inseparable. We were always hanging out, going over to each other's houses, or something along those lines. I realized that he wasn't so bad after all, and I even developed these…_feelings _for him. For a few months, I thought I actually had a chance, until Alice forced him to start talking to Jessica, who had always had a huge crush on Edward. In Alice's defense though, she really didn't know that I liked Edward, so it wasn't her fault.

Edward reluctantly started talking to Jessica. He wasn't too happy at first, but then they just started talking more and more and becoming closer and closer, all of the while, each of them were talking to me and hanging out with me less and less, so now they're a item. In other words, they were dating, and that fact infuriated me beyond belief. I was totally the jealous type. I knew I would never have a chance with Edward, but I still loved him. I did have a chance with him though, once, but I didn't tell him how I felt, because I was a coward, so now one of my best friends are dating the love of my life.

I, of course, hate that. I absolutely love Edward, but he's completely in love with my best friend, Jessica. And I would never jeopardize that for Jessica because, although she wasn't in love with Edward, she really did like him.

Edward on the other hand, always talked about Jessica. I mean every time I talked to the guy(which is not nearly as often as it used to be)the only thing we talk about was JESSICA!

"Bella!" Jessica yelled.

"Oh, sorry." I apologized while feeling a familiar warmth crawl up my neck.

They just laughed and Edward rolled his eyes.

"We just wanted to say hi…" Edward smiled a brilliant smile, his deep, mossy green eyes sparkling.

"Oh, hi." I did a small wave and turned around, grabbing the rest of my books and shutting my locker. As soon as the aluminum door was out of my way, I saw that they were still there, making googly eyes at each other.

"Still here?" I smiled.

"Oh, um, I'm leaving, see you later Bella. Bye sweetie!" She said before giving Edward a peck on the lips and prancing down the hall. I forced the tears back that were threatening to start from seeing them together. That happened all of the time though.

I looked at my former best friend to tell him bye, but he was still watching Jessica with an enlightened expression.

"Edward…" I waved my hand in front of his face, but it didn't faze him, so I just decided to wait. Sure enough, not until Jessica was gone did Edward remember that I was standing there in front of him.

"OH…Bella…" He started, but I didn't hear the rest because, thanks to my temper, as soon as he opened his mouth, I turned around and started walking away.

"Wait, Bella!" He called, and I could hear him running after me, but I didn't stop, just kept walking. After being the kid's best friend for about seven months, falling in love with him, and having him ditch me for one of my friends, I think I'm entitled to become a tad bit angry with him when he completely ignores me and pretends I'm not standing right in front of his face. Well, technically, I'm not standing right in front of his face because I'm almost a foot shorter than him, but that's besides the point.

"Bella, please wait!" He said into my ear, indicating that he was now right beside me. I almost started swooning right then when his warm breath hit my skin.

_I'm so tired of waiting for you, it's like waiting for my super, flying, hero abilities to take over and put me in the media. _I just about thought out loud, but I didn't say a word. I could have said it though. It was right there. On the tip of my tongue. But no, I'm too scared to tell him the truth, so I just kept walking.

"Wait, please Bella! Just give me a second, class can wait." He said from behind me now.

_Did he seriously think that I was rushing to Trigonometry!!_

"WHAT!" I turned around and screamed in his face, I was so angry with him right now that I could smack the gorgeous face of his silly!

_Gosh, this is not the time to be thinking about how amazingly gorgeous he is, Bella!_

Hi face was shocked and a little hurt. I immediately felt bad for yelling at him, I mean it's not like he can read my mind.

"I…um…just w-wanted to…ask you s-something." He stuttered.

"Please hurry up Edward…" I sighed, knowing that I was being a little harsh.

"Okay, well, you know that the senior dance is coming up soon, right?" He asked, insulting me immensely.

_What, does he think that I have no social life outside of him and Jessica?! Of course I know about the dance! I was asked by three guys already! It was first Mike, then Eric, then last; Tyler, I politely turned them all down though..._

"Of course…why wouldn't I?" I asked accusingly.

"Well, I just didn't know if you had heard about it yet, or if you…you know…" He replied. Now I know that's exactly what he thinks. I felt the moisture fill my eyes, blurring my vision.

_How is he so blind?_

I closed my eyes, trying to force back the tears. I decided not to take acknowledgement of what he was implying and just find out what he wanted, give it to him and get to class. "Edward…just tell me what you want…" I sighed, my eyes still closed, but as soon as I opened them I knew I was already late for class because the hall was completely empty.

"Well…I know this is a little strange for me to ask mostly because…well…it's not like we really talk to each other that often…" My eyes went wide, and I know I looked vicious because I was extremely furious. We were best friends! We were always around each other with an exception of these last three months. I guess it is possible to completely forget about a person, because that's exactly what he did. I am really starting to believe that he just erased those six months from his mind. The six best months of my life.

"Edward, we used to talk all of the time…remember, we've been best friends since the beginning of senior year?" I asked frustrated.

"Well, yeah, but...what I meant was that we haven't really talked in a while...you know." He said, waving it off. I was so angry at him!

"Whatever Edward," I seethed, saying his name as if it were the worst thing in the world. "Just tell me what you want and stop stalling, I'm already late for class."

"Fine, I asked Jessica to the dance, of course, and she needs someone to go dress shopping with her. She didn't want to ask you herself because she feels like she hasn't been much of a friend to you since we started you know…dating." He said very quickly.

_She isn't the only one…_

This was bound to be weird, and I don't know what made me do it, maybe I just wanted to get out of here fast, who knows but the next thing I know I said, "Sure, whatever…I have to go."

"Thanks Bella!" He beamed and ran off. I, on the other hand, didn't want to make things awkward between me and Jessica, since we sit beside each other next class, so I left. Although, that's not the only reason I left, I also knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate for the rest of the day, and I really needed to cry.

As soon as Edward was gone, I ran to my locker, got out my backpack and homework then slammed the door shut, tears already streaming down my face.

I slung my pack over my shoulder and ran towards the entrance. I pushed the door open so hard that it hit it's limits and flung back, almost hitting me in the face, but luckily I dodged it just in time. I decided to stop running, knowing that I would probably end up falling, so I walked out to the parking lot and to my ancient truck.

Once inside the cab, I slammed the door shut and started the engine. The familiar roar didn't surprise me at all, but instead mesmerized me. I stretched out and laid across the seat.

Familiar wet streaks streamed down my face as I cried and cried…and cried. I sat there for about a half hour just crying before my stomach started growling. I hadn't eaten today and I was just realizing how hungry I was.

As soon as I sat up, I saw the big wet spot on my upholstery that my tears had left. I hadn't cried this much since I found out Edward was dating Jessica in the first place, but I guess I needed it. I did feel a little better.

I drove home with only the humming of my truck. As soon as I reached the driveway, I pulled my key out and walked to the front door.

Even though I was starving, I didn't really feel like eating so I just walked sluggishly up the stairs and to my room, shutting the door behind me and plopping down on my bed.

I kicked off my shoes and pulled my i-pod off of my nearby nightstand and plugged the ear buds into my ears. I went to the artist section and clicked play on my Chase Coy playlist. he was the only musician that could cheer me up. I could never get enough of his voice.

The music filled my ears and lulled me to sleep, almost.

I was on the brim of unconsciousness when my cell phone started vibrating in my back pocket. I jerked myself awake and groggily answered my phone.

"Hello..." I said

"Bella?" The familiar voice said from the other line, immediately disappointing me.

"Oh, hey Jess." I said rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"So, are we up for shopping?" She asked very enthused.

"Oh...yeah, sure." I had already agreed, no turning back now...

"Great...okay, um...how about this weekend, or is it too short notice?" She asked hesitant.

"Um...yeah, this weekend is good for me...uh, I guess you can call me whenever you want to go. I can't go Friday though because I'm going over to Alice's." I stated, remembering that Alice had invited me over for a 'girls night' with us two and Angela.

"Oh, well, is Saturday good?" She asked hopeful.

"Yep, perfect..." I replied.

"Okay, great, pick you up at around four?"

"Sure..."

"Great, see you then, bye Bella!" She exclaimed in clear excitement.

"Yep." I stated before hanging up and throwing my head back onto the pillow.

I tried to get back to sleep, but unfortunately, all I could think about was how horrible this shopping trip would be for me. I knew that I was going to have to listen to how great Edward was all night, and how she's so happy with him and that she's glad they have finally gotten together...yada...yada.

I was not in the mood for that.

Maybe Alice's little sleepover would cheer me up before then though, who knows?

Once I realized that I was not going to get anymore sleep, thanks to Edward and an upcoming shopping trip that I seem to have gotten myself into, I sat up and flipped open my phone to see what time it was.

Seven o'clock already...wow...who would have guessed. Time flies by when you're depressed. Not that I necessarily was, but at this moment, yes, I was.

There was a sharp 'ding' signaling that someone was at the door. I jumped up out of bed and ran down the steps. I only tripped once, at the very last step and fell on my knees. I winced a bit but got back up and continued to the door. I was about four feet away when Charlie stepped in front of me, opening the door and revealing the pizza guy.

Wow...I never thought that I would say this...but the pizza guy wasn't too bad looking. He kind of had that tall, dark and handsome thing going for him. He was very tall and built. He had long, shaggy black, sleek hair and small, dark, beady eyes. He looked familiar.

"Hey Jake..." Charlie said to the kid.

"Hey Charlie, that'll be eight dollars." Jake said, handing Charlie the pizza box, Charlie though, was struggling to get money from his pockets.

I quickly walked over and took the pizza from Jake's hands.

"Thanks Bella." Charlie said as he handed the kid a ten. A two dollar tip.

I looked over at the pizza kid, he was grinning at me. I blushed and looked at Charlie.

"Oh, Bella, this is Jacob, Billy Black's son. He's one of my friends that live down in La Push. Jacob, this is my daughter, Bella. You two haven't seen each other in years." Charlie stated.

"Pleasure to meet you…again, Bella." Jake smiled and held out a hand for me to shake, which I did.

"Same to you." I said before turning away. "I gotta get this pizza in the kitchen, it's sort of burning my hand..." I lied.

"Okay, see you later." Jake called from the door to Charlie, who was pushing the door shut.

Charlie made his way into the kitchen as soon as I set the pizza box down on the stove. I opened a bottom cabinet and pulled out a couple of paper plates, taking one for myself and leaving the other one on the counter for Charlie. I opened the box and plopped a slice on my plate and sat down at the table, enjoying my food immensely.

I think my stomach thanked me.

As soon as I finished, I headed upstairs to take a shower, all the while still thinking about Edward. Somehow though, that pizza kid, Jacob, kept getting mixed into my thoughts, there was just something about him. I don't know. I was looking forward to Alice's Friday though, so I tried to get my mind off of everything and focus on that, and it surprisingly worked, only for a while though.

I changed into some pajamas and curled up in my bed, falling asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

"Sweet dreams Bella." Edward whispered into my ear. I was definitely dreaming.

Ahh, but sweet dreams they are...

**So, tell me how you like it, if you like it, if it sucks...**


	2. Speakers Blown

Ahh**, chapter two, this is going to be named after a song called 'Speakers Blown' by Hit The Lights, so yeah, hope you guys like!!**

Chapter 2: Speakers Blown

I woke up the next morning to a constant buzzing. I pushed my arm out from beneath the comfort of my warm blankets and slammed my hand on top of the large 'SNOOZE' button on my alarm clock. I knew that I needed to get up though, as much as I despised reality, I had to get up. I sat up in my twin sized bed and picked my clock up, switching it to off and touched my feet to the cold, hard floor.

I pulled myself to my feet and headed over to my dresser to pick out some clothes. I took out a pair of light blue jeans, a white t-shirt and picked out a dark blue zip-up to throw on over the white shirt.

I grabbed my bag of toiletries and then proceeded to the bathroom. After turning on the shower water and waiting for it to heat up, I stepped in. I did the daily shower routine, washing my hair, conditioning, and washing my face and body. I then stepped out and dried my body with a towel, I got dried off a bit and dressed in the clothing that I had picked out.

Then I reached into my bag and pulled out a small blow dryer and took it to my hair, sprayed some hairspray in it to keep it from getting frizzy and left it down. I only put on a small amount of make-up, consisting of only eye-liner, and shadow.

I then descended the bathroom and made my way down stairs for a bite to eat. After grabbing a cereal bar, I made my way out to my truck. The moment I stepped outside, I groaned as the small white flakes fell onto my hair. I pulled my hood up on my coat and got into the driver's seat of my truck. As soon as I shut the door, I knew I couldn't put the thoughts off any longer. Today was Thursday and I would have to do the whole shopping trip with Jessica to help her pick out a nice dress to go to the dance with her boyfriend, whom I was in love with. My hands dropped into my lap as I felt my eyes welling up with liquid. My eyes averted to the exact spot that was left yesterday by my tears, which was already dried by now.

_No! I'm not going to cry today. Today will be good! I WILL get over Edward Cullen, he obviously had no trouble forgetting all about me…_

I stopped my tears before they could make their way out of my eyes and put my hands back onto the steering wheel. I pulled my keys from my pocket and stuck the right one in the ignition after fumbling with the keychain for a bit. I turned the key only to hear a loud moaning noise.

_NO! NO! This can not be happening!_

I turned the key again only to have the same thing happen. I tried it one more time before I huffed, pulled out the keys and threw them at the windshield.

Looks like I'm going to need a ride to school. Charlie had already left when I came downstairs, but maybe I could call Alice…

I picked up my phone and began dialing Alice's number then put the phone up to my ear. The line rang…and rang…and rang. "Come on Alice, pick up. Please pick up!" I mumbled to myself.

"This is Alice, I'm not able to answer right now, so just leave a message and I'll call you back_…" _Alice's giddy, and perky voice came over the line. I sighed and hung up the phone.

Maybe Angela…I flipped open my phone once more and dialed Angela's number this time. It, like Alice's rang a few times before sending me to voice mail.

_What is with those two, they need to answer their phones more often!_

There was no one else to call…I didn't really talk to anyone else at my school enough or really know anyone else well enough to ask them to come pick me up, and I am certainly not planning on walking. It was pouring outside, no way was I walking.

The only other people that I really have even gotten close with in school was Jessica and Edward. I could call Jessica but sadly Edward drives her every morning…

_I cannot believe I'm about to do this…_

I sighed, flipping open my phone once more and dialed Edward's number. I could have sworn that Alice and Angela have a conspiracy against me. I hesitated before pressing the 'talk' button, then sighed and decided that I might as well get this over with. I once again put the phone to my ear and waited, almost hoping this time that I would get voice mail, but I didn't have that kind of luck...

"Hello…?" A velvet voice came over the line, obvious confusion as to why someone would be calling this early in the morning.

"Hey…" I drug out.

"Bella?" He said, his voice almost making me swoon.

_No Bella, no…no Edward!_

"Yeah…sorry about calling you this early." I apologized.

"It's fine, is there something you needed?" He asked and I could have sworn that I could hear concern in his tone.

"Um…yeah…kind of. First off though, I wanted to apologize about the way I was acting yesterday, it was totally rude and you really didn't deserve that." I said and was about to continue before he spoke.

"Is that all you wanted? If it is, it's fine, I understand,"

_Oh, how I wish you really did…_

"I know it can get a little stressful sometimes…." He said acceptingly.

"Well, no actually…there was something else." I said, obviously beating around the bush.

"Well, what is it?" He asked.

"Well…um…have you left your house yet?" I asked.

"Um…yeah…I just left about thirty second sago, why do you ask?" He replied.

"Uh…my tuck just kind of broke down…Charlie has already left and I can't get a hold of Alice or Angela…and I'm kind of in need of a ride…" I said slightly hesitant.

"Oh, well, I can swing by and pick you up if you'd like." He said. Gosh why does he have to be in love with one of my best friends?!

"Yeah, thanks, Edward…a lot." I said, wanting to cry right then.

"No problem, I'll be there in about ten minutes."

"Kay', thanks." And with that, I hung up, not even saying bye.

I decided to just wait in my tuck until he got there, putting in my i-pod and laying down in the seat.

I don't know how long I was laying there because I was mostly just thinking. Thinking about my life at the moment and how horrible it would be to go shopping with Jessica tomorrow. There were other things on my mind as well, such as Edward, and how I loved him but desperately wished I didn't. I also thought about the fact that even if him and Jessica didn't work out, -which wasn't possible, they were so in love, or at least it seemed that way to me- I still wouldn't be able to do anything with him, even if I did have a chance because it would be a huge betrayal towards Jessica on my part.

I decided that I didn't want to think or worry about these things anymore because thinking about them would just get me frustrated and angry, thus causing me to end up crying. I did not want to be crying when Edward and Jessica got here to pick me up. So my mind then wandered to Edward and his pretty green eyes that I get lost in every time I looked at his face. It's funny though. I used to think that I could so easily read his thoughts or feeling through those eyes, when we were friends and always around each other that is. I remember perfectly how I used to just look right into his eyes and see, easily, some expression or thought pass right through them like confusion, or amusement when he found something funny. I remember how perfect and melodic his laugh was when it rang through my ears and was saddened every time I replayed that tune in my head because he was my best friend, and I was in love with him, he wants nothing to do with me and is in love with Jessica, who was a good friend to me in the past. I also remember, though, every once in a while, like after he would say something funny and I would laugh, he was always silent and I would look up at him to see him staring right at me with such a bewildered expression, and the emotion in his eyes was unreadable to me.

It was then that I was brought out of my thoughts from a small clacking noise on my window.

I opened my eyes and lifted my head to see Edward standing there, coat wrapped tightly around him bouncing slightly on his heels. He was gesturing for me to get out. I sat up, and opened the door, stepping out into the freezing weather. I looked over to Edward, whose tousled auburn hair was being caked with damp, white flakes of snow. "Come on, it's freezing out here. The air's on in the car so you'll be warmer in there." Edward stated after he took in my appearance, realizing that I was shivering from the cold.

"Thanks Edward…" I said quietly, moving my eyes to his face but still keeping my head down. He looked over to me and opened his mouth as if he were about to speak but then stopped, his mouth still a gape. A strange expression flashed over his face but was gone in a flash, and he covered it, with a faked expression that was more like a security blanket once he realized that my eyes were locked on him.

He quickly turned away so that I couldn't see his face. "You're welcome. It was no problem." He muttered.

He made his way over to the passenger side and opened the door before gesturing for me to get in. I obliged and quickly buckled up, still not really looking at him. I heard the driver's side door open and shut again and felt the car shift a bit as he settled in. Then suddenly, a thought hit me like a toddler with a big, red, plastic baseball bat. "Where's Jessica?" I asked curiously, staring out of the window.

He put the car in reverse before answering and started down the street.

"Um…she's sick today, she called me this morning and told me to go on to school without her. She thinks it's some twenty four hour bug or something." He stated, obviously not that suspicious or intent on the subject.

"Hmm…that's strange, she seemed perfectly fine yesterday." I stated, not really interested, babbling, really, but it was a bit weird that she just all of the sudden came down with something.

Edward just gave a barley audible "Mmhm…" and the subject was dropped, turning into an awkward silence. I could feel his eyes on me every now and then, but I still refused to look at him.

"So Bella, how've you been lately?" He asked all of the sudden, breaking the silence.

"Um…physically, good, very healthy." I said. I didn't even try to lie, I wasn't any good at that, and he knew me well enough to know when I was lying, so I stuck with a half truth, not wanting to explain my mental wellness at the time being.

"That's good…but I was actually referring to your mental health, or whatever, you get what I mean." He said. I finally decided to look at him, though not meeting his eyes. He had a wary expression on his face, letting me know that he felt as awkward as I did. There was something in his voice though that gave me the hint that there was something on his mind that was bugging him. Although, there was no way of knowing what he was thinking, I desperately wished I could right now.

"Well…I don't know, okay…I guess." I looked down, biting my lip, not wanting him to see my face.

Gee that was just pathetic, smooth as butter right there. Yeah, totally convincing.

"Uh huh, right." He smirked. "You know, that was less convincing than me saying I took a trip to the moon in a purple rocket ship and planted a cheese tree that grew ten feet high." He laughed. I didn't, but instead just sat there looking at him, unchanged. "Ah, c'mon Bella, laugh, it was funny!" He gave my shoulder a playful shove. I just sighed and closed my eyes, throwing my head back against the seat. He rode my nerves like a little kid and a squeaky recliner. Worse than that though, I felt so stupid, I mean, I didn't use to be like this, you know with the stick up my butt, I used to be a fun person, but it was so hard to sit here with him, and be friends with him and get my hopes up when they would be crushed all over again when Jessica came back tomorrow and he put all his attention back on her, forgetting all about me, again. I mean, how could I be okay with that, I loved him, and it hurt to think that he could just forget about me so easily.

I heard a very loud sigh from Edward and looked over. He looked at me for a second then back to the road. "Bella, what's got you so down? I hate that, you know, you've been like this for a while now." That got my attention. How would he know that? I thought he was too caught up in the world of Jessica to even notice me.

"Nothing…" I lied "Just a little stressed."

"Bella, you _can_ actually talk to me, you know, and be truthful and everything…" He stated sarcastically. "We used to talk all of the time, and now you're always avoiding me. You'd think it'd kill you to even look at me." He finished, looking at me now.

It was probably a dumb idea, but I decided to play dumb. "That's not true."

"Are you joking?! You never talk to me. Even yesterday, I asked you one question, and tried to talk to you for, at the most, five minutes, and you acted like it was going to kill you to talk to me. I sit by you at lunch every day, and you never say a word, just talk a little with Alice, eat, and then you're on your way again." He said, almost angry, but somewhat pleading at the same time.

"It's not like you'd stop looking at Jessica long enough to pay attention, even if I did try to talk to you." I countered, and immediately regretted the words.

I didn't even mean to say it, it just came out. Oh stupid, why didn't you just stay home today, then this all could have been avoided.

"What?!" He yelled, and I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the seat again. I tried to pretend I was in my truck again, lying there, remembering my episode yesterday after Edward had asked me about dress shopping with Jessica.

"That just came out, I didn't mean it." I said nonchalance. Even though it was another lie. I hated lying, to anyone. It was kind of necessary though, right now, with Edward.

"That's what this is about, why you never talk to me or even associate with me anymore? Because of Jessica?" He said, ignoring what I had said. His eyes locked on mine, very intense, and a small amount of anger in them, but enough there for me to see it.

I didn't respond.

"Are you jealous, or something? Bella, just because I have a girlfriend doesn't mean I don't have time for friends." He said, more calmly this time.

UGH! He just didn't get it did he?! Has he got some mental problem that enables him to comprehend that I don't want to be his friend anymore?! That I want to be more than that to him! That I love him!

I looked over at him, tears starting to roll from my eyes, anger clear on my face. He moved his eyes from the road just long enough to see my facial expression. As soon as he saw me, his eyes went wide. I was pretty sure he got it now. He quickly put his eyes back onto the road and didn't say another word.

I don't know what was with me today, but I seem to have this word vomit thing going on, the words just spill out of my mouth. "Why is it so hard to comprehend? I don't want to be your friend, Edward!" It came out before I even knew I was talking.

His face turned distraught and I had a strange feeling he didn't see the double meaning in my last sentence, so I quickly tried to clarify. "What I mean is…is that…not that I _don't _want to be your friend…it's just…I…I don't _just…_want to be your…friend." I finished, my cheeks blazing red from embarrassment. I didn't even have to look at him to know that he was about to bust out laughing.

We were in the school parking lot, but the car was still running. We sat there for a few minutes, but he didn't say anything, nor did he laugh. I finally decided to look over. He was starring blankly out of the window shield. It was as if what I said hadn't effected him one bit. I decided it was probably best to just get out of the car and continue not talking to him and pretend none of this ever happened. I would just catch up with Alice later and hitch a ride with her.

I reached over and grabbed hold of the door handle, opened the door and got out. The tears were still flowing.

Why did I do this to myself? Why couldn't I have just gotten over Edward like any normal person would have done?

I felt someone grab a hold of my arm and suddenly I was facing Edward.

"Bella, can we please just talk about this, there's still a good thirty minutes before first period." He said pleadingly. He eyes were brooding into mine and I realized too late that my head was bobbing up and down.

I found myself being pulled over to a secluded area of the building near a bench. When we reached the destination, Edward sat down on the bench, pulling me down to sit beside him.

We both just sat there for a few minutes. I was staring at my lap, and he was just looking at whatever was in front of him. Then suddenly, like in the car, he broke the awkward silence. "Well, we obviously can't avoid this. I guess we ought to get this conversation over with."

That just made the tears worse.

Okay, so obviously he didn't feel comfortable having this conversation, and he apparently, I'm assuming, was going to try and let me down easily.

"Do we really have to discuss this, I mean, we could avoid it…if we wanted to." I said, still not looking at him.

"No, we can't avoid it." He replied.

"Why not, I mean, I know what you're going to say, and I know that you have a girlfriend, I'm not dumb. You're off limits." I said, sighing.

Edward just threw his head back and groaned.

"Look, lets just forget that this ever happened, okay, just forget that I even said anything." I said.

"No!" He replied harshly, clearly impatient.

"Why not?!" I asked, just as harshly.

"Because…" He started.

"Because why?" I asked, annoyed now.

"Because Bella, I guess I've…well…I've always kind of had…a thing…for you." He said, quickly looking down.

I was speechless. Why wouldn't he have told me this, everything could have been avoided, I could have been with Edward! The idiot!

I just sat there staring at him, my mouth most likely hanging open.

Then, another though struck me like a potato falling from the heavens and mashing right on my head. "You're in love with Jessica, how could you have feelings for me?"

"I do love Jessica, but I had feelings for you way before I even started talking to Jessica. Now, though, I'm just confused, and I probably shouldn't have told you that. I just never knew you felt the same way. If I did though, it would have been so diff-" He stopped abruptly.

"What were you going to say?" I hedged.

"Nothing. Look Bella, I think it's best to just do what you suggested…for now anyway. Lets just pretend this didn't happen. Forget about what I said, okay. I'm sorry." Edward stated demandingly before getting up, grabbing his bag and walking away, into the crowd of people.

I just sat there, dumbfounded. What was that? Just forget? There was no way I could just forget about that. He felt the same way about me. It was unbelievable.

No, that didn't matter though, not anymore. He was with Jessica. He wanted to forget about those feelings. He wanted to forget about me…about everything I felt.

New tears replaced the dried ones in my eyes.

So much for getting over Edward Cullen today…

**So, tell me what you think! I really hope you guys enjoy this story. ****I know it's not much yet, but hopefully I can make it better, I'm totally open to suggestions though. Thanks for reading!** Oh and sorry if it's too dramatic or whatever,


	3. Over My Shoulder

**Thanks for all of you guys that are reading this! I really do hope that you guys like this story…anyway, tell me what you think about it! I want to know! Review please! **

**Oh and this chapter will hopefully help clarify the situation a little better towards the end.**

**This chapter ****is titled after the song 'Over My Shoulder' by Mike and The Mechanics **

Chapter 3: Over My Shoulder

Edward's POV

I couldn't believe what I had just done. I just got up and walked away from her.

I did love Jessica, not just because I should, I really did, but I was in love with Bella way before Jessica had a spot in my life. But after a while, I just figured that Bella would never feel the same way about me, so I moved on, or so I thought.

Knowing that Bella felt the way as I did just a few months ago before Jessica, made all of the forgotten feelings surface again. I didn't know what to do though. I couldn't just drop Jessica because I still had very strong feelings for her, and I wouldn't intentionally hurt her either.

But I knew that I had hurt Bella. I just left her sitting there after I told her how I felt.

I hurt her before that though. In all honesty, she was right…about me not taking the time from Jessica to be a friend to her. I haven't been a friend to her at all lately. Although she's been avoiding me, I could have at least attempted to be a better friend than I have been. She was right, I have been ignoring her. I barley even tried to talk to her before yesterday. What makes it even worse though was what I asked her to do yesterday.

Gee, I didn't even think about that. What a nice situation I put her in.

I mentally smacked myself. How could I have even asked her to do that even before I knew how she felt. First of all, I don't even bother to talk to the girl-which, in my defense, was me at least attempting to get over her-then I go and ask her if she can go help my girlfriend shop for a dress to the senior dance that I was taking her to.

Now I find out that she had feelings for me that are obviously deeper than friendship, which makes it even worse.

I feel like a jerk.

I tried to shove all of the thoughts out of my mind and attempt to pay attention to the lesson going on in class.

It was almost time for the bell to ring, signaling the end of class, which I was not in any way anticipating. I mean, why would I look forward to sitting at the same table as her, watching the sadness in her eyes as she tried to avoid me and not look at me and pretend I wasn't even there, what I needed to start doing.

And just as I expected, the loud, moaning noise sounded through the room.

I slowly got up out of my seat and grabbed my books and walked out to my locker. I made my way through the crowding hallway, and down a couple of hallways to my locker. I ran into Alice on my way there.

"Oh, hey Edward…" She said warily.

"Hey Alice." I replied robotically.

"Um…there was something I needed to ask you." She stated, biting her lip.

"What is it." I asked, again not too interested in the subject, but trying to be polite.

"Well, I saw Bella earlier, and I tried to talk to her, but she seems really upset. More than usual, and I know you guys don't talk or anything, but I was wondering if you knew what happened." She asked, a look on her face that told me that there was a reason she was asking me.

She probably knows…how Bella feels about me that is.

"I take it you know her feelings towards me." I stated rather than asked.

"So that's what's wrong with her." Alice replied with a grim look on her face. "I wish she would just get over you, I knew it would end up hurting her."

"What do you mean 'so that's what's wrong with her.'" I asked skeptically.

"Well, obviously if you know, than she had to have been the one to tell you, and I'm assuming by the way she's acting, well…I'm guessing you weren't exactly bouncing with excitement." She answered.

"Look, Alice, what happened…I didn't mean to hurt her, you know that." I hate that, that I hurt Bella. Alice was one person I could actually talk to about it though, Bella and I were both close to Alice, and Alice wouldn't go and repeat what I said. So maybe, if I told her my reasoning for what I said to Bella, Alice could at least try to explain to Bella why I had to do what I did.

Alice was, after all, the only person I ever told about how I felt about Bella. That was before Jessica though and before Alice convinced me to at least be nice to Jessica, and talk to her.

"Of course I know that." She replied, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Let me put my things in my locker and then I'll explain." I told her before continuing my way to my locker, Alice right behind me.

We made our way to the cafeteria. We got our food and sat at an empty table away from the people that we usually sat with.

I looked over to see all of the normal people there, mike Newton, Angela Webber, Lauren Mallory. Everyone, except for Jessica, Alice, myself, and…Bella. Where was she?

I looked around the room and spotted her sitting at an empty table, just a bottle of water in front of her.

"So, explain." Alice said, pulling my attention away from Bella.

I looked over to see Alice watching Bella as well, but she soon turned back to me. "I'm waiting."

I decided to skip the part about my asking Bella to go dress shopping with Jessica and go straight to what happened this morning. I explained everything, going into detail and even making sure I included Bella's reactions and facial expressions and whatnot.

I think for once in her short life, Alice was utterly speechless.

"You told her to forget about what you said. Then you just walked away?! How could you do that?! That' really crappy, Edward." She scolded me. As if I didn't feel bad enough. I haven't been able to stop thinking about what I did all day.

"I don't know, Alice. It's just, I'm with Jessica right now, I can't go falling for Bella again."

"That doesn't mean that you had to hurt Bella, you could have at least let her down easy or something. Of course, I don't think you should drop her at all." Alice stated, crossing her arms.

"Alice, I love Jessica, I may have feelings for Bella, but that still doesn't change the fact that I feel just as strongly for Jessica…" I countered.

"You know as well as I do that you're not in love with Jessica." Alice snarled.

"How would you know that?! I am! And not just because I should be, because I am in love with her. Alice, can't you just understand that?" I pleaded, trying to push it into her small brain that as much as she doesn't like it, I do love Jessica.

"Edward, you don't even know her! You don't know what she's really like! All of us can see past the crap she gives you, everyone can…except you. You may think you love her now, but what's going to happen when you finally realize that she doesn't feel that way about you. She's just using you for your looks, or popularity. I don't know what she's using you for, but Edward, Jessica is a fake, she doesn't really love you. Do you really believe that she's sick today?" Alice whisper-yelled at me. A scowl on her face the whole time.

I can't believe that she would say this to me. How could she accuse Jessica of being…fake?!

Alice has been having the same argument with me since I decided to date Jessica. She's said the same things at least five times before…although now, now it's different because she's biased. Her best friend's has been involved now and has been hurt. So of course she'd be rooting for her friend. Alice and Jessica have never really hit it off from the beginning. Mostly because Alice refuses to trust Jessica and let whatever grudge she has against her go.

Although, as usual, Bella was in the dark about it. She didn't know how Alice felt about Jessica, and she also didn't know that Alice and I were as close as she was with Alice. Another thing she didn't know is that I've talked to Alice before about how I feel about her.

"Yes, I do believe she's sick, Jessica wouldn't lie to me. Alice what do you have against her?" I asked calmly.

"I can see who she really is, Edward, and I just wish you'd stop obsessing about her for two seconds to see that too. Look, I know that you hate when I say these things, but they're true, all of it, and I'm not just saying it because Bella is involved, but because you're my friend, and I care about you and I don't want to see you get hurt too." She said

Bella POV

I sat there at the empty table and watched them talk for about fifteen minutes. They were both starting to get mad, I could tell. I knew that Edward must have told Alice about what had happened this morning.

I got up and threw away my half empty water bottle and then made my way to my locker and got my things then went outside and sat on a bench that was covered by a small ownning coming from the roof of the school building.

I pulled my i-pod out and turned it on, then crossed my arms on the table and rested my head on my arms. I was perfectly content and planning on skipping my next class, biology, since I had to sit by Edward, that would make for an awkward time.

I was listening to one of my favorite songs when I felt a vibrating in my back pocket. I instinctively reached back and pulled my phone out and put it to my ear after taking out one of the head phones.

"Hello…" I offered.

"Bella, hi honey." Renee's-my mother-voice came over the phone.

"Hey mom, what's going on?" I asked, confused as to why she would call me during school.

"Well, you know that your cousin, Jasper was supposed to be visiting you and Charlie down there right?" She asked.

"Right, yeah." I answered.

"Well, he's not coming down this summer. Instead, he'll be coming down later this week." I was excited about Jasper coming down, I hadn't seen him in a year, but why would he be coming down in the middle of the school year instead of over the summer? That was strange.

"When you say later this week…" I was cut off.

"He should be there tomorrow night." Renee answered.

Tomorrow night?! Gee, someone could have told me earlier.

"Does Charlie know." I asked, wondering how my dad would react to Jasper just showing up on our doorstep tomorrow.

"Yes, I told him a week ago." She answered.

"Why haven't I been told about this?" I asked angrily.

"I wanted to discuss it with you first, there's more to it." She said warily.

"What? Did something happen?" I asked, worried now.

"Well, honey, your aunt is not doing so well, ever since Jasper's father died." I cold hear her starting to get a little choked up.

Jasper's dad, James, was my mom's brother. They were always very close, so when he died last year, it took a big hit on our family. Especially Jasper's mom, Jenny, who was my aunt. Not only did it affect them emotionally, but financially too. They had been having a hard time. Jenny, especially. It really messed her up when my uncle died.

Renee continued with her explanation. "I would have taken Jasper in, but with all of the traveling Phil and I do, I wouldn't think that it would be such a stable life for him, and that's really what he needs right now. So he's going to be living with you and Charlie for a while. Until he graduates. He's been saving up for a place of his own, so he plans to move out on his own as soon as graduation, but he will be going to school with you now." She finished. I didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, honey. I should have talked to you first, it affects you too." She added.

I really didn't have a problem with Jasper living with us. I loved Jasper, he was like a brother to me already. I just didn't know what to say. "No, mom, it's fine, I'm more than happy to have Jasper living with us. Don't worry about me. I'll try to help him out with the school and everything though." I said, trying to make her feel better.

"That's great, Bella, thank you for being so mature about this. Please introduce him to some of your friends at school and help him adjust and feel more comfortable." She said. My mom and I both loved Jasper, and of course she would be concerned about him, and I would help him out as much as I could.

"I will mom, I promise." I replied.

"Okay, Bella, honey, I love you, I have to go now." She said

"Love you too, mom, bye." And with that I hung up.

I was excited about Jasper coming down, but not necessarily about why he was coming down. He's had just as hard of a time than anyone had, with trying to take care of his mother, support her as much as he could, and keep up with school, all while mourning his father.

I looked at the time and saw that I was ten minutes late for class.

"Oh" I gasped and took off running to class with my bag, completely forgetting why I wanted to skip class in the first place. At least I managed to get Edward off of my mind for a while.

I stepped into the class, and luckily Mr. Banner was at his desk doing paper work and I went completely unnoticed. As soon as I looked over at my seat that was near the door, I remembered why I wanted to skip class in the first place. Edward sat there completely unaware. I wondered if anyone in this class decided not to come today, maybe there was another empty seat.

I looked around the room, and saw that there was no such luck, so I sulkily made my way over to Edward. I sat down very quietly, so as not to be noticed by Mr. Banner. I immediately got Edward's attention. As soon as he saw me, his eyes went wide.

He hadn't expected for me to come to class today.

Well, he can just get over it, I have more important things to think about right now anyway.

Unfortunately though, I had to talk to him to figure out what was going on.

I looked at him and was about to speak, but then suddenly he pushed his notebook over to me. I looked down at the page. It was notes. I looked back up at Edward and he pointed to the board, where the assignment was written down.

I took out a piece of paper and began the assignment. I was writing the answer to a question about cell mutilation when I felt a nudge on my elbow.

I looked over and saw a folded piece of paper sitting by my arm and picked it up.

_**I'm sorry…I didn't mean to upset you earlier; I just thought that it would be better this way.**_

I read over the note and quickly slipped it under my paper, not bothering to respond. I could feel his eyes on me every once in a while, but I ignored it as best I could. I would try to get over him. It was obvious that no good could come from obsessing over him, nothing was going to happen between me and him. So that's why it was better just to let it go.

It startled me when the bell rang, it didn't even seem like we were in class for that long. I swiftly got up…well if swiftly means tripping over the chair leg and almost falling anyway.

I could feel myself getting closer to the ground before I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist, followed by an electric current flowing through my body from the touch.

I looked behind me to see Edward and his beautiful grin, holding me up. "You okay?" He asked, amused. I could hear the double meaning in it though.

"Fine." I huffed and wriggled out of his grip-as much as I hated to.

I walked out of the classroom and to my locker.

I was getting out my books and folders and whatnot for my homework. The day was finally over, at last.

Then as I was shutting my locker, I saw Alice standing on the other side of the aluminum door. "Hey Bella." She sang.

"Hi Alice." I scowled. I probably wasn't in the best mood.

"So, I hear you're going to be needing a ride home." She hinted, twirling her keys in the air. I had forgotten about that.

"Yeah, thanks Alice." I said, following her to the exit.

"No problem. But…uh, I'm going to be home all alone today because Carlisle's at work, and Esme is out of town for a couple of day, so you mind if I chill with you at your place tonight?" She asked.

I knew the real reason she wanted to come over, she wanted to talk to me about Edward, most likely. I agreed anyway though. "Yeah, that's fine."

"Cool, we can do homework together." She stated excitedly.

I followed her out to her car. I was just opening the door before my phone started vibrating. I pulled it out of my pocket once more, and didn't even bother to look at who was calling before answering.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey, Bella, it's Edward. I just wanted to make sure you had a ride home before I took off." Edward's voice came from the speaker.

"Yes, I'm going with Alice." I said angrily. I guess I was still a little bit bitter about the whole situation I was in with Edward at the moment.

"Alright, and hey, I really am, sorry about earlier. It's just well…I'm hoping Alice will explain everything." He said awkwardly.

"I thought we were going to forget about everything, and go back to not talking, or associating with each other again." I snarled.

"If that's what you want…I would like to try to be friends, I wasn't being very reasonable this morning." He replied.

I didn't even bother answering, but instead just hung up.

"Edward?" Alice suggested. I nodded then got into the car and shut the door before buckling myself in.

The drive from Forks High to my place was about five minutes long, thanks to Alice's speedy driving.

Alice drove up the driveway and put the car in park before turning the key and pulling it out of the ignition. We got out of the car and I stepped up to the door, and reached down in my pocket for my keys, but realized that I didn't have them.

Where did I have my keys last?

"Bella aren't you going to unlock the door?" Alice asked.

"Uh…yeah, give me a second." I said trying to remember. I looked around the yard and saw my truck sitting there, broken and remembered.

The dashboard!!

I ran to the truck, opened the door and pulled my keys down from the dashboard. I then ran to the door and unlocked it before stepping inside the house.

Alice closed the door behind her and we walked into the kitchen. I figured I should probably go no an start dinner before Charlie got home. I went to a cup pert and pulled out three potatoes. I got a knife and went to the counter to begin cutting the skin. As I started cutting, Alice began the inevitable conversation.

"So, how're you doing Bella?" She asked, sympathetic.

"I'm actually quite fine." I stated calmly.

"Are you sure. What he said was kind of harsh." She said, sympathetic, again. I hated people giving me their sympathy.

"I'm alright Alice, he apologized for that, twice. Plus, I have other things on my mind," I said, surprisingly taking the conversation in a different direction very smoothly.

"Oh, what other things." She asked, clearly curious, probably thinking that I had found another guy or something.

"Well, you remember me telling you about my uncle that passed away last year right?" I asked Alice, turning to her for a brief second to see her very curious/bewildered facial expression.

"Yeah, why? Did something happen?" She asked, concerned now.

"Well, no, not exactly, eveything's still the same, really. I mean my aunt's still pretty messed up, but my cousin, Jasper. He's coming down tomorrow night. He's going to be living with us for a while, until after school, then he plans on getting his own place. They're not doing too well, so that's why. I'm sure he is probably having trouble keeping up with school too, while trying to support his mom." I said, easing her concern.

"Oh, well, that's new. You'll have to introduce him to everyone. He can be apart of the gang." Alice suggested excitedly.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure everyone will like him. He's a pretty down to Earth kind of person. Kind of quiet though." I said.

I had successfully changed the subject!

"Are you okay with him living here?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, of course. I love Jasper. He's already like my brother. I used to go down to Phoenix a few times a year to see my family and we would always end up hanging out, but I haven't seen him since his dad died." I stated.

"Oh." Was all Alice said. "He'll have to come over tomorrow and hang out with us."

"I'll ask him about it." I said, not really paying attention anymore. I wasn't very good at predicting the future, but I had a feeling that Alice and Jasper would hit it off.

"Hey, um you might want to know that Rosalie is going to be there tomorrow." Alice said hesitantly.

That didn't really bother me. It would probably be a bit awkward though, I mean I hadn't talked to Rosalie in a long time. Her and Alice were pretty tight though.

"Okay, that's fine, it'll probably be a bit awlward between us though." I said, starting to sut the potatoes into slice to fry now.

"Yeah, well, guess who else is going to be there…" She cooed.

"Who?" I asked.

"Well, it was supposed to be a surprise, but I want to tell you. Emmett's coming home. He should be there late tonight. So get excited!" She squealed.

"I am! I haven't seen him in forever! Gosh, I've missed him this year…" I said. I couldn't believe it. I was so excited! I've missed Emmett so much. He was my best friend. I'm sure with Emmett here, and Jasper, I wouldn't even be able to think about Edward. Jasper just has a way of getting anyone into a good mood. And Emmett was so easy going and happy, that it was next to impossible to be gloomy around him.

"Good. So, now that all of that is out of the way, back to you and Edward…" Does she ever give up?

"I'd really rather not talk about that right now, I'm in a good mood." I replied.

"Well, too bad."

"Alright, just give me a second."

I turned the stove on and put the potato slices in a frying pan and put them on the burner to cook. I then made my way over to the table and sat down next to Alice.

"Here's the thing Bella. I never really told you this, but you should probably know. Edward and I…we talk a lot. He told me how he felt about you, when you two were friends, before Jessica. Of course, you know how he feels now, but I just wish I would've told you. I mean I knew you always liked him, you just wouldn't tell anybody. However, I could see right through you. I always knew how you felt about him, and I should have told you, or him. Then maybe, all of this could have been avoided. It would have been you and Edward instead of Jessica." She sighed after she was done. She knew about Edward? And she never told me? Of course, I don't blame her for anything, but a girl is supposed to tell her best friend these things.

"Alice, this wasn't you fault, although isn't it like girl code or something to tell your best friend these things?" I gave a weak grin. She smiled up at me and continued.

"Well, I didn't want to sabotage Edward's trust, because he trusts me a lot and I'm the one person, besides you who he can tell just about anything, and I promised I wouldn't say anything. That was before he started dating Jessica and stopped talking to you, which I greatly disapproved of."

I didn't say anything.

"After he started dating Jessica though, you got all depressed, and you were always avoiding him, not that he really tried to push a conversation with you or anything. I hated that, though, I've felt so guilty for a long time, I wish I would've said something to one of you." She finished, or maybe just paused to see if I had an input

I still didn't say anything.

So Alice began again. "Please don't be mad at me Bella…" She pleaded.

"I'm not, this isn't your fault Alice, _I_ should have said something…sooner than today." I said, putting my head down.

"Well, there's more." She said nervously. "If you want to hear it."

"Go on." I stated.

"Well, Jessica and me, we don't really like each other that much. Mostly because I know who she really is. She's not a bad person or anything, but she doesn't really love Edward. I'm almost positive that she only wanted him to make you jealous because she knew how much you liked him. Edward thinks he loves her-and I could smack him for it-but he won't see her for who she really is. He won't realize that she's only with him to hurt you." She took a deep breath and looked down. "She knows that I know why she's really with him. I've tried to tell him that she's just using him, but he won't listen. I haven't told him why she's using him though. That would just make him hate me, because he won't go against Jessica, and he would never belive that she would want to hurt you. I talked to him earlier, and I wanted to tell him so badly, but I promise you that telling him won't make things better or easier, just worse. I'm just really hoping that he will see it, soon." Alice finished and looked back up at me. I knew I showed no expression on my face.

Was I as blind as Edward? Because I sure as hell never saw that one…

**There's chapter three! I'm sorry that Bella was all depressed in the past couple of chapters, but it's all apart of the story, and don't worry, it'll get better. But until then…tell me what you think…REVIEW!! I want to know! So if you liked the story or have any suggestions, review and tell me! Thanks again for reading! I hope you guys like this story!!**


	4. Sidewalks

Alright, so I've read over the last few chapters and have come to realize that my writing is not so great, and I have had a ta

**Alright, so I've read over the last few chapters and have come to realize that my writing is not so great, and I have had a tad bit of inspiration. And yeah that sounds totally corny, but oh well. Anyway, I was listening to this song, not the one this chapter is titled after though, and it made me think hard about what I was writing, so I hope that this is better. And thanks to those few who have reviewed.**

**One more thing though, Jessica really isn't a bad person or anything. I know the situation between her and Edward is a little confusing right now, but the next chapter, when Bella goes shopping with Jessica, it will kind of explain the situation, you just have to be patient.**

**This chapter is called 'Sidewalks' by Story Of The Year.**

Chapter 4: Sidewalks

Alice picked me up this morning. I was a mess. I couldn't wait to see Emmett, and I was so excited about seeing Jasper. Most of all, though, I needed to see Edward. I hated to admit it, but I was completely incapable of moving on. I really loved him. Despite all of the drama that was going on, I still couldn't stop thinking about him. Then I thought about that phone call I got from him before I left school. He wanted to be friends again. Just friends. I could never be with him, because he loved Jessica. The thought alone made the tears start. What Alice had said, about Jessica just doing this because she wanted to prove that she could top me off. That she didn't really love Edward, how could she?

When Alice came in this morning, I was bawling. She had run up to me, holding me and assuring me that everything would work itself out, but I just wasn't so sure.

Now here I was, sitting next to Alice at lunch, watching everything 'work itself out'. Jessica was back, sitting right across from me, Edward right next to her, flirting and smiling. He was so happy with her. Jessica seemed just as happy, and I thought over everything Alice had said. For a few moments I contradicted Alice, and wondered, if maybe, Jessica really did love Edward as much as he loved her, they just looked so happy. Towards the end of lunch though, Edward had gotten up, and whispered something in her ear. She looked up at him in such an adoring way, he smiled and as he stood, kissed her very lovingly. He gave her another breathtaking smile before he reluctantly turned away and headed out of the cafeteria. I watched him walk away, tears brimming. I was glad he was happy, but I wanted to be happy too, was that so bad?

I felt a nudge in my side just as Edward opened the door and walked out into the hallway and looked over to see Alice frowning at me. I quickly looked down, not wanting her to see the sadness that I knew was showing there on my face, but then I felt another nudge. I looked up and she was glaring daggers at Jessica. I followed her gaze and there it was, almost as if Alice knew I was starting to doubt what she had told me yesterday, and wanted to prove herself right. There was the proof, easily seen in public display as I looked across from me.

Mike Newton had taken Edward's empty seat and was now sitting next to Jessica. She was smiling at him very happily, and mysteriously. Mike was grinning back at her in a lustful way. He leaned over and whispered something in her ear, making her adoring smile grow. He then placed a small peck on her cheek and stood up, walking out of the room with a few glances over his shoulder to Jessica Stanly herself.

I sat there staring at her. How had I not seen this before, was I that caught up in my thoughts that I wouldn't notice _that?_ How could she do this to Edward? Did she understand how he felt towards her? I looked to Alice who exchanged a quick glance with me before shaking her head, removing her look of disapproval, and going back to her food. I looked back ay Jessica, who was still staring at the cafeteria doors, dazed.

That little twit! How could she do that?!

All kinds of things were running through my mind at the moment. Sure I was angry with Edward, but I also loved and cared for him. What would this do to him if he ever found out. Should I tell him. Would he resent me if I did? Like Alice said he would. Should I just let it go and pretend it didn't happen? Should I try to tell him that he doesn't see her clearly, like Alice, and beat around the bush with half truths and double meanings. Would he be able to read between the lines? Or would they be unreadable to him because in all honesty, he didn't really want to know the truth? So many questions ran through my mind. But I didn't know what to do.

Jessica was facing me now, and I'm sure my face was skeptic and accusing. Her eyes widened and she was about to say something, but I didn't stay to listen. I quickly got up, out of my seat and left. I didn't want to say anything. I wanted to stay out of this, so I left before I c_ould_ say anything.

I knew that the reason I had never noticed Jessica and Mike's obvious flirting before was because I had always thought about her and Edward being together, and I wouldn't have expected that Jessica was lying, until it was pointed out to me. It probably wasn't that obvious to anyone, because they didn't know. Although, when you knew it just seemed too obvious.

That was why Jessica was so shocked when she saw me looking at her the way I was. She could tell that I knew, and I'm sure that not many people besides Alice had given her that same look.

It was so clear now though, why she didn't like Alice. Because she didn't want that look. The look that let her know that someone could see through the lies, and knew exactly what was going on. Could clearly see the truth.

She was cheating on Edward. With Mike. She didn't love Edward at all. She was using him, but I wasn't exactly sure if it was because of me, I didn't know the reason for that yet, but it was clear that she really didn't feel for Edward as he felt for her. And I couldn't tell him.

If I told him, it would seem like I was just trying to tear them apart because of jealousy on my part, and if Alice told him, he would resent her. So what was I to do? Just sit back and watch while Edward loved a girl who in return lied and cheated. Then become crushed and broken when he finally found out the truth…possibly too late. I cared about him too much to watch that happen to him. I had to make him see. Not for me, that wasn't my concern. I needed to be his friend right now. So that's what I would do.

I would make him my friend again, then I would try to make him see. Not for my sake though, for his own.

I stopped walking and found myself outside. I could use some fresh air. That was for sure. I knew that I really needed to think things through this time and I needed to act quickly. But with all that was going on this weekend, how was I to do anything about it? With Jasper coming in tonight. I had to help him out and get settled.

I would have to make time for Edward, he needed to know the truth that he was too stubborn to see.

I let out a big gush of air and turned on my heel, starting towards the biology building. I walked quickly, knowing that I didn't have much time before the bell.

The room was already crowded when I stepped in, I made my way over to the familiar table, melting down in my chair next to Edward. I pulled my notebook and a pencil from my bag and set them on the table in front of me then turned to Edward. He was looking down at his hands, which were folded on the table in front of him. I stared at him for a few more seconds until I realized that he didn't plan on acknowledging me.

Did he still want to pretend nothing happened? Why wouldn't he look at me? I shouldn't have hung up on him yesterday. Why did I have to get so mad at him, it was so stupid. Of course he would want to forget about what we said, he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend who was cheating on him, sure, but he didn't know that. I decided to just wing it, go for it, so to say.

I looked up and over at Edward, whose position had not changed. "Hey…" I offered, letting it hang there, allowing him to respond.

He slowly turned his head and looked at me for a moment. He seemed…unsure, as if I wasn't being serious, so I gave a weak smile. "Hi…" He replied, barley audible.

"So, Rosalie and I are going to be hanging out with Alice at her place tonight. You should come. Emmett will be there, and there's someone I'd like everyone to meet. If you're not busy and feel up to it…I'd like to…be friends at least. If your offer's still up." I said while looking at my knees, blushing.

He didn't say anything at first, so I looked back up at him, expecting to see some look of disgust, but instead…he was…smiling. He didn't say anything, so I made a small wave in front of his face to get his attention. That just seemed to make his smile grow. I sighed and turned around to face the front of the classroom.

_Idiot…_

"I'll be there. And I'd like to continue being friends, you mean a lot to me, Bella, even as a friend." He said, a smile still in his voice.

_What did he mean 'even as a friend'?_

I brushed off the thought, hoping there wasn't intentional meaning to the words. Then I looked back at Edward with a smile. "Good." I said before Mr. Banner made his way to the front of the room.

I didn't really pay attention during class. I was too excited about tonight, but then a thought came to me. What I had gotten myself into doing Saturday night.

Well, this just sucks.

I let my head fall into my arms on the table.

Did I really have to go shopping with Jessica? I mean, I thought the situation was bad before, but now it's even worse! She's cheating on my friend…on Edward.

Maybe I could get Jasper or Emmett, maybe Alice-if I was lucky-to tag along with me so that I could be stopped if I tried to strangle her. Although Jasper would be busy getting settled in, Emmett would probably be too tired from his trip to Washington from Florida to do anything but sleep tomorrow, and Alice, well I'm pretty sure she feels the same way about Jessica as I do at the moment, so she wouldn't be much help if I attacked the girl. Maybe I could convince Angela-

"Bella, c'mon. Time to leave…" Edward cooed beside me. Did the bell seriously ring? I didn't even hear it…

"Right, yeah." I said before grabbing my things and getting up. I maneuvered around my chair and began walking towards the door. Edward was walking beside me now.

"So, are you still going with Jessica this weekend, because, I'll understand if you don't want to go…I could make an excuse for you…" He said. I turned to him, that gorgeous smile on his face.

_Why does he do this to me? I guess he really is trying though…_

"It's alright, I'll go. Who knows, maybe it'll be fun. I need to talk to her anyway." I said sheepishly, all the while trying not to look at him.

"Oh, what did you want to talk to her about?" He asked curiously, ducking down to get into my vision.

_Oh great! I'll have to lie to him, obviously I can't tell him what I want to talk to her about. He'll know I'm lying…what do I do? I guess hesitating doesn't really help…_

"Um…I…I, uh…girl things. Yeah, uh…girl things." I said, knowing that my red face would give me away.

"Really, huh, must be exciting, talking about…oh I don't know, unicorns, and new hair styles…but uh, what do you really want to talk to her about?" He asked, smiling.

I really wished he would stop smiling…

I decided that ditching him would be best, so I tried that instead.

"I can't really talk right now, Edward. I promised Alice that I would catch up to her after class, I'll see you later though, right?" I said, hoping he would buy it.

"Uh, yeah sure…" He said, looking kind of confused.

I walked ahead of him quickly and took the opposite direction as him.

I got to my locker and put my bag in, not really feeling like carrying it anymore and took out my supplies for my next class. I slowly walked to class. I wanted to think.

I really needed to know the facts first before I went accusing Jessica, so I really did need to be alone with her Saturday. I needed to talk to her, before I tried to convince Edward anything.

I made my way into the Literature building. This was last period. Thank goodness. I could get home and be with my friends. I sat down in my seat in the back of the room. I didn't plan on paying any attention today, so I pulled out my i-pod and put the buds in my ears, letting the soft music play while class was starting.

I pulled out my book report that was given to us a week ago and sat it on my desk to be picked up and went to doodling on my notebook.

I spent the whole sixty five minutes scribbling in my notebook and inconspicuously listening to my music. I didn't even hear the bell ring, but saw that everyone was getting up and leaving, so I did the same. I went to my locker and got my backpack out along with my personal things I had to take home. I threw the bag over my shoulder and shrugged into my jacket, before stepping outside to wait for Alice.

Not a minute later did I feel a small nudge on my arm. I looked over to see Alice walking past me.

"You coming?" She asked, not turning back to look at me, but instead still wlaking ahead.

I stared after her for a moment before catching up. I climbed into her yellow porshe and secured my seat belt knowing that Alice was, as usual, going to drive like a maniack. We sped out of the praking lot and not much was said on the way to my house. She was going to stay there and help me get ready.

"Oh, Alice?" I said, remembering that I had invited Edward tonight.

"Yeah?" She replied, not taking her eyes from the road.

"Um, I hope you don't mind, I kind of forgot to ask you first, but I kind of invited Edward to come over tonight." I said sheepishly. Sh was quiet for a moment.

"I guess, I mean I don't care, but what if he brings Jessica?" She asked, turning her head slightly to get a quick glance at how the words had effected me. I will admit, they were somewhat like a blow. What if he did bring Jessica? Would it matter? I mean it wouldn't be any different if he didn't because either way nothing would happen. He loves Jessica.

"Then I guess he brings her, it doesn't really make a difference either way. We're just friends." The last sentence sounded quite strong, surprisingly. I didn't expect that, and judging by the look on Alice's face she didn't either. I knew it was a lie though. I knew that no matter how much I wanted to love him as a friend, i couldn't. I loved Edward, and for some reason, I knew that wouldn't change any time soon. Wheather I wanted it to or not.

"Bella, don't give up yet. You still have a chnce. We'll make Edward see Jessica. He'll find out soon enough who she really is." Alice replied with a grimace on her face.

I will admit, that did sound like a satisfying thing to do right now, but I knew I couldn't. I did want him to see what she was doing to him, to protect him, but on his own. I didn't want to be the one to tell him, because he would think I was lying, to get him myself. I don't want to hurt him, and I know that if I told him, it would hurt him, a lot. And I wasn't going to make him see what Jessica was doing to him for myself, so that I would get a chance. I didn't care about myself, as long as he's okay, and doesn't get hurt, I don't care. I just want him to be okay.

I didn't reply to Alice's staement, because it was pointless. I just stayed quiet until we pulled up into my drive way. "You ready?" She asked with a smile. Alice is always happy when she gets to make poeple beautiful.

"Yeah, I guess. Jasper will be here in about two hours." I stated. She popped the trunk and made her way around it before pulling out a large purse type bag. I wouldn't know what it was called, I'm not exactly in on the names and what not.

"Well then lets get going." She said walking to the door after she slamed the trunk closed. I pulled my house key out of my pocket and pushed it into the lock. There was an audible click and I pulled my key out before turning the knob and pushing open the door. I shut the door back as soon as we were both in and began walking up the stairs. We entered my room and I took a seat on my bed while Alice pulled various items out of her 'purse'. She dropped two large plastic bags onto my bed that both contained clothing. She had it draped over her arm, under the purse type thing.

"Alice, you have got to stop spending your money to buy me a new wardrobe." I said, gesturing to the plastic bags containing clothes.

She just smiled and shook her head. "I'll start with your make-up." She pulled out a small zipped up bag. She un-zipped it and started taking out the different containers that I've seen her take out numerous times and began applying the contents of them onto my face. That took at least twenty minutes alone. I let out a sigh when she had fianlly zipped the small bag back up and shoved it back into her large purse.

"I'm not done yet. We still have your hair to do." She responded to my sigh. I let out an even bigger sigh. She giggled a little bit.

She pulled out a straightner and a round, plastic, box container, which were hot rollers. She pluged both into the outlet near my bed and waited for the straightner to warm up. Which it did in the next thirty second. She used that thirty seconds to quickly brush through my hair. She grabbed the straightener in her right hand and began tugging and pulling. I didn't complain much. About fifteen minuets after the straitener, she opened the container with the rollers and started rolling up the top layer of my hair. I'd never pictured myself with hot rollers, but I knew Alice would make it look good on me. She left them in my hair and then told me to go get changed and cleaned up. I grabbed the plastic bag from the bed that she had pointed to and went to the bathroom. I first brushed my teeth, then pulled the simple, midnightblue, thin, long sleeved shirt over my head. I looked at the lower body attire Alice had chosen. It was a simple, yet short white skirt that was straight at the tob, but then flared out at the botted with folded white fabric on the last six or seven inches at the bottom.

Was the party really that formal? I didn't approve much, but I sliped it on anyways. I then looked at the silver, strappy heels she gave to me. I didn't have the energy to complain about that either. At least the heels were short, only about half an inch. I looked up into the mirror and laughed ay how ridiculous I looked. Alice may be a miricale worker, but there's no way she could make me look any prettier than I usually was, which was not that pretty.

I don't know what caused the adittude change, but I was suddenly very down on myself. I didn't even have the energy to argue over my clothes. I guess it was a good thing I shaved my legs last night, because I didn't really have the energy to do that either. I made my way back into my room, knowing my face looked pitiful. Alice looked at me strangely when I walked in and just shook her head and getured for me to sit back down on the bed.

"Don't worry so much, you look awesome." She stated with a smile as she started pulling the curlers out of my hair. I could feel the curls bounce back like a spring after being realeased of the rollers. I could only imagine how stupid I looked right now.

Alice quickly ran her hands through my hair a bit and sprayed way too much hairspray in it. I was choking by the time I heard her say "All done!" I looked at her with her brilliant smile plastered to her face. "Take a look at yourself." She said excitedly, jerking me off the bed by my hand and pushing me into the mirror. I didn't even want to look at myself, but I did.

Wow.

I put my head down, shaking it and laughed to myself. Alice really is a miricale worker.

"What's wrong, you don't like it?" She asked. I knew I had hurt her feelings.

"No, Alice, I love it, I didn't think it was accomplishable, but you actually managed to make me pretty." I said, truthfully. My hair looked way more awesome than I would have expected it to. The top layer of my hair had spiraly curls that hung loosely around my head, while the bottom layers were straight, conflicting in a good way.

"Bella, why are you so down on yourself today? You are beautiful, with or without make-up. Now come on. You look great, go get you some food and relax while I get ready." She said. So I did. I went down stairs and grabbed me a granola bar and sat down on the couch. I sat there for a while thinking. About Edward, about myself, this stupid situation that he got himself into, and how I would try to help him out without him realizing, wheather it benifited me or not. I didn't think I was sitting there that long, but the next thing I knew, Alice was coming down the stairs. I looked up once I saw her walk into the living room. She looked gorgeous. She had pulled her hair back on the top. She was weraing a long-sleeved white shirt with a v neck and a straight denim skirt that went to about mid-thigh. She finished it all off with a pair of black high heels with a small bow that seemed to hold it onto her foot.

"You look great, Alice." I said with a smile. She threw something at me, which landed in my lap. A purse. My purse. "Thanks."

"No problem." She smiled and sat down on the couch with me. " You know, Bella, everything will work it's self out. Don't get so worked up about it."

I looked at her with a smile and nodded. "I know." Just then there was a soft knock on the door. I knew it was Jasper. He was here! Finally!

I leaped off of the couch and ran to the door, swinging it open. I looked at him for a moment. He didn't look his age anymore. He still looked like him, but older since the last time I'd seen him. His eyes weren't bright and he looked so solemn and tired, over worked. I frowned a bit, but not anything that he would notice. I looked at him a moment longer brfore putting a bright smile on my face and leaping at him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"It's good to see you too, Bella." He chuckled.

"I'm so glad you're here! I haven't seen you in a while." I said, pulling back. "You look different than I remember." I noted.

"As do you." He said smiling. I looked down to see his three suitcases by his feet.

"Oh, come in, sorry." I picked up one of his bags and tugged it up stairs to the guest bedroom, he followed. "I guess this will be your room for a while." I said and turned around to look at him. I sat his bag by the bed and he brought the other two to set there as well. I hugged him again. "It's so good to see you Jasper." He smiled at me. "OH! I have someone down stairs I want you to meet, and then we have to get going."

"Going? Where?" He asked puzzled.

"Oh, yeah, I guess I forgot to tell you. Well, do you feel up to a small party type thing?" I asked, making a little pouty face like I'd seen Alice do a hundred times before.

"I guess." He said, rolling his eyes as he followed me down stairs. Alice was leaning on the railing at the bottom of the stair case. She looked up as we approached. She saw Jasper and her eyes went wide.

"Jasper, this is my friend Alice Brandon. Alice this is my cousin, Jasper Hale." Jasper smiled brightly at her. Her wide eyed expression didn't change much. "Come on, Alice, we have to go." I said, grabbing my coat and pulling the door open. Jasper was following. Alice walked over to the door, very dazed. I wondered if she would be alright to drive.

We made our way out to Alice's car. I got into the passenger seat, while Jasper climbed into the back. Alice, slowly, still dazed, got into the driver's seat. She started up the car and we were off. The silence got a little awkward after a moment so I turned to Jasper. "So Jasper, how was your flight?" I asked him.

"Okay, I guess. I had to sit by this old guy who snored the whole way to seattle." He said, and I immidiately felt bad.

"So I take it you didn't get much sleep." I said, ducking my head.

"Well, no, not exactly, but it's fine, I'm sure I'll have fun tonight." I decided to end conversations there and turned up the radio. It was another ten minutes before we pulled into Alice's drive. Her house was huge, about the size of Edward's. I'd gotten used to it a while back though.

Alice parked the car, and we all silently got out and made our way to the door. Alice turned the knob and let us all in. I looked up to see Emmett sitting on the couch watching a football game on his big screen tv. I ran over and threw myself beside him on the couch. I turned to him and put the biggest smile I'd had in a while on my face. He didn't even notice me at first. He was too into his game. So I just sat there for a few minutes smiling at him.

Jasper was standing awkwardly beside me, behind the couch. Alice walked past the couch, smacking Emmett upside the head on the way, probably trying to get his attention for me. It worked. He jerked his head around to look at Alice. "What was that for?!" He scolded her, rubbing his head, covered in messy, curly, brown hair. When he turned back around, he finally saw me. "Bella!" He yelled, pulling my small frame into his large, bulky arms, hugging me tightly. "When'd you get here?!"

"A minute ago." I laughed and heard Jasper chuckle a bit behind me. "I've been sitting here." I laughed again.

"Oh." Emmett said quietly. "Sorry, I've been really into this game."

"'S okay, I'm just really happy to see you. It's been a crappy year. I wish you were here. Its sucks." I could feel the tears coming on. He must have too because he gave me a somewhat sympathetic look before pulling me into his arms again. This time though, he kept me there, holding me. I was happy to have my best friend back, he was really the only one that could ever cheer me up. Alice started up a conversation with Jasper, after she got over her strange shyness and pulled him into the kitchen with her to talk.

"Bella. What's been going on? You're never this down." He pushed me away a little to look at my face. I had been crying. I looked down to see the small wet spot on his sleeveless shirt.

"Nothing really, I just miss you a lot." I was allowed to say things like this to him. He was the closest person I had. I told Emmett everything, usually. I never really told him about Edward because they were kind of tight buddies I guess. I always figured that Emmett would probably find the whole guy thing a little silly and uncomfortable anyway, so I left that talk for Alice.

"It's more than that. Please tell me. Come on, I'm your best bud in the whole wide world. Won't you tell your best bud?" He asked in a voice that you would talk to a cute baby with, trying to make me laugh.

I really hope Alice used water proof make-up. She probably did, knowing me all too well.

"It's kind of silly." I blushed, biting my lip and looking away from him.

"It's not so silly if you're this upset about it, obviously." He said matter-of-factly.

"Well, it's just...well, this guy." I sure wasn't going to tell him who. If he knew Edward had hurt me, buddies or not, I knew Emmett would hurt him, not emotionally either.

"Oh." He replied, I could already tell this was uncomfortable for him.

"Emmett, we don't have to talk about this." I reasoned. As soon as this left my mouth, I saw the uncomfortable expression disapear form his face and he looked serious.

"It's fine Bella, you can tell me." He said.

"Well, I guess I've kind of liked him for a while now...maybe...loved him?" I stopped and looked up at him. He nodded for me to go on.

"Well, I'm pretty sure he felt some what the same way, more or less anway, but he started talking to this one girl. They talked a lot. He stopped hanging out with me, and he's basically in love with her right now, and she's cheating on him. I just figured that out. I don't know what to do, but I still feel the same way about him. I don't understand why I can't get over him. It doesn't make any sense. I accidently told him how I felt the other day. He actually confessed that he always felt the same way, but that he was in love with this girl he'd been dating. He told me to just forget about everything. Later though, he told me he wanted to be friends. I didn't really talk to him at first, but I'm trying to except that it's never going to happen. I don't want this girl to hurt him though, so I'm trying to help him see what she's doing, I don't really care if it benifits me or not though." I said really fast. I looked up at Emmett, who was staring at me wide eyed.

"Wow, that's some drama." He chuckled. "Whose the guy?" That was the question I didn't want him to ask.

"Uh...nobody." I said sheepishly.

"Aw, come on Bella. Just tell me."

"I can't." I told him simply.

"Why can't you tell me?" He asked.

"I just can't."

"Well, how are you going to make this guy see who the chick is and what she's doing?" He asked.

"I don't know. I just hope he doesn't bring her here tonight." Oh my gosh! Did I just say that?! Wow, so much for not giving it away.

"Oh, he's coming tonight?" Emmett smiled.

"No." I said, the lie clear in my voice. Emmett just chuckled and called Alice in.

"What do you want, Emmett?" Alice asked, obviously irritated that he interrupted her and Jasper's conversation.

"Who all is coming tonight?" He asked her with a smile on his face. I tried to get up, but he held me there.

"Emmett, let me up!" I yelled.

"No. Alice whose coming tonight?" He asked again.

"Alice, don't te-" Emmett's hand covered my mouth quickly and he pushed me backward as I tried to push it off. He climbed on top of me and held my arms back while covering my mouth.

"What are you doing to Bella, Emmett?" She asked, obviously concerned.

"Nothing." He replied, laughing when he looked at me, trapt under his large body.

"It looks like you're trying to molest her." Alice raised her brow. Emmett started laughing.

"Just tell me whose coming tonight." He said with a smile still in his voice.

"Uh...other than whose here already, Rosalie, Angela, unfortunately...Lauren Mallory." Emmett made a face at that. As well as Alice. "Tyler crowley." Emmett glanced at me in a questioning way. I shook my head and made a face. Alice continued, not noticing the exchange. "Mike was supposed to come, but he called a few minutes ago and cancelled." Alice exchanged a quick glance at me, letting me know what this meant. "Edward's coming too, I think, Bella invited him today. He'll probably bring Jessica, but I don't know if she's coming, since Mike's not coming. That probably means they've got something going on that Edward doesn't know about." Alice finished and looked at me.

My eyes were wide. I looked at Alice, meeting her gaze, she looked at my terrified expression, bewildered. Then we both looked up at Emmett, whose eyes were squinted, eye borws pulled together. Then suddenly, as if he had put the pieces together that quickly (not that it was that hard to put them together, seeing as how Alice basically told him who I was talking about), Emmett's face relaxed. He looked at my terrified expression, then to Alice, who was still very confused.

Jasper walked into the room at that point and gave me a strange look. I ignored it and looked at Emmett. He was angry now.

"Edward. It's Edward, isn't it?" He asked me, quietly. I looked to Alice, whose face was suddenly one of understanding. She finally realized what was happening. "Bella. It's Edward, isn't it." I looked away, the tears coming to my eyes again. "He told you to just forget about it, that he was in love with someone else, then decided he wanted to be friends? Some way to toy with a girl." He uncovered my mouth and got off of me.

"Emmett, it's not that big of a deal." I said, but the tears that had started burning my eyes told him something else.

Curse my stupid tear ducts!

"Bella, it is a big deal. He hurt you, and obviously is too stupid to see it. Please don't tell me that he's dating jessica Stanly." He said sternly.

"Yes." I said.

"Is he stupid? He thinks he's in love with her?! He chose to be with that bimbo instead of you? I don't see how anyone could do that. He's dumb. Since when did you and Edward talk?" He asked.

"We started talking at the beggining of the year." I answered.

"I'll kill the idiot!" He yelled.

"Emmett, don't bother him, it's fine." I said.

"No, it's not, Bella. Gee, I can't believe Edward would go for Jessica. I mean we were pretty tight last year, and even before that. I wouldn't ever think that he would go after someone like her." He said. I looked behind us to find that Alice and Jasper had already left the room again.

"Emmett, please don't do anything. It'll work it's self out." I said.

"Fine, but I'm not talking to him tonight if he has the nerve to come." He added very childishly. I laughed at him.

"Thank you." I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

**So, I know I told you guys that I would put the 'party' scene in this chapter (not that it's a huge party or anything, more like a small get together, something like that) but I figured it was a good place to end the chapter. So obviously, Bella's very emotional. haha emo. anyway, I'm really sorry this took so long to get out. It's been a busy couple of months. There have been so many things going om letely. Also, for everyone reading Hi, I'm Mr Right, I Heard You Were Looking For Me, I don't exactly have control of when it gets done. Hailee's writing the epilogue right now. She's been just as busy, but according to her,, it's almost done. Then It's All Emmett's Fault, well, about that, I still plan on finishing it, I just don't like it as much as the other two stories and I'm still kind of mad about my other chapters getting erased because of my crashing computer. I'm still trying to fix that though. Hopefully that stroy wioll be done soon too. Sorry about the wait and thanks for everyone that's still reading and hasn't hassled me yet! REVIEW and tell me how you like it, and any suggestions or ideas. I could use ideas. toodles!**


	5. A Time For Yohe

**Okay, I've been trying to come up with an idea for this since like the second chapter, I could never think of a good way to make what needs to happen, happen. If that makes since. So I was sitting here, skimming over this story. I didn't really like it, it was one of those stories that are just so…I don't know. 12 years old. Idk if that makes sense either. But anyway, the idea just popped into my head. Id been writing and thinking g about many ideas for like two months now. I'm constantly jotting things down in my journal. Yes, I keep a journal. Not a diary, a journal. I don't write about my oh so exciting love life or how some girl wants to steal my boyfriend or whatever. It's more of something that I put my really deep thoughts in. I write poems, quite a bit actually. No one would ever suspects though, and only one person in my life knows write them**_**.**_** I write poems, ideas, random thoughts, just about anything. Even lyrics to songs I like, this isn't the point though, the point is that I'm excited to the point that I'm rambling, I do that when I'm excited. So basically…the idea of how to write this story is now stored in my journal and you guys will be getting much faster updates. Oh and btw, sorry if there are a bunch of typos, I know those are the most annoying thing in the world, but my dumb butt brother, who really needs to get a life, silt something all over my keyboard and my keys are sticking like crazy, so please bare with me, I'm sorry.**

**Chapter 5: A Time For Yohe (Between The Trees)**

"Jasper, just go talk to her already! Gee, since when did you talk so freaking much?!" I fussed. He had been constantly badgering for the past half hour about Alice. Geez, I needed some of that forsaken alcohol that a bunch of losers brought in two hours ago.

I turned to Jasper. His face was red with a wide grin. "Sorry, Bella, but she's gorgeous! She seems interested, but I can't really tell. She's kind of sending me mixed signals." He said.

I rolled my eyes very indiscreetly. "Would you stoop being such a guy for a second and just go talk to her. You'll be fine. Alice isn't exactly judgmental. She gives everyone a chance, mostly because she knows how it feels when everyone thinks you're weird." I said, laughing a bit at a memory of Alice when she first moved here.

_Flashback…_

"_Hi, I'm new here. My name's Alice. I think we'll be great friends!" The short girl with spiky hair said. Apparently her name was Alice. _

_Lauren just stared at her._

_She'll never last._

_I started laughing silently in my head._

"_Uh, yeah, right." Lauren had replied. "I don't usually make good friends with psycho, crazies who go begging for friends. Next thing you know you'll go around screaming at me 'I CAN SEE THE FUTURE, I CAN SEE IT!' dancing around in little circles doing voodoo with your eyes closed. Thanks, but no thanks." Lauren gave a squealing ,laugh. _

_I laughed too. It was mean, but the way it was said was kind of funny._

_The girl named Alice just laughed right along with Lauren and all of her 'I PWN THE WORLD!!!' friends. "Your loss I guess." _

_Alice shrugged and walked away. I stopped laughing and stared after her. Uh…_

_She sat at a table by herself. I didn't even realize what I was doing, but my feet, who obviously had a mind of their own, just walked right over to her and I sat down. _**(A/N: btw…funny story, this chick at my school thinks I was trying to steal her weird, creepy boyfriend-which I wasn't, I assure u, if I wanted to steal some girls boyfriend, I wouldn't have to try…jk-so she was wanting to beat me up and sent her friends to my locker to do it, I never go to my locker at the time they were there, never have, so they never saw me, I was buying candy off this chick outside, haha, candy's always good. but anyway, I was explaining the thing to my friend on the bus, eating my take5, my hand just freaking spas med, idk, but my candy just went flying. I wanted to cry. It was a sad time for me. Sorry)**

_End Flashback…_

"But-" Jasper started, I quickly stopped him.

"GO!" I finally yelled at him. He frowned and walked away. I felt bad, but not enough to hear more about Alice.

It was nine now. The party had been going on for about three hours. Edward had showed up at around seven. He'd really been talking to Rosalie all night. Jessica didn't come, she wasn't feeling good, but assured Edward that she would be ok enough to shop with me tomorrow. Pfft. Mike wasn't here either.

I had been in the kitchen all night, sitting by myself. Emmett talked to me a little bit, but he started getting dough eyes as soon as Rosalie walked in. He basically kneeled at her feet first sight. He'd been following her around the whole time. He's always had a thing for Rosalie. Never admitted it though. Then Edward said hi when he came in. Now Jasper and I had just finished our conversation. I was annoyed to say at the least. It seemed everybody had something better to do than be friends with me. I probably sound pathetic right now, but I want to dwell in my self pity at the moment so I think that's what I'll do.

The 'small get together' had turned out to be more than small. Way more. Of course that was to be predicted. A bunch of guys whom I'd never seen before brought in like three coolers of beer about two hours ago. I've been weighing the pros and cons of drinking some of that, but I still couldn't decide.

I would get drunk, yeah, but hey it was the weekend, and I really deserved to have the weight lifted off my shoulders for the night and have fun. On the other hand, I really didn't want to spend the night with my face in a toilet spewing my guts out. The hangover would suck pretty bad too.

Ah, who cares. Beer, here I come.

I hopped off of the bar stool I'd been perched on and pushed open the kitchen door. The living room was much louder, the blaring music making my ears buzz. I pushed through the crowd, trying to cover my ears. Some guy gave me one of those creepy looks, the ones where the person moves their eyes up your body, back down, then back up again. Yeah, one of those looks. I got a cold chill that racked up my spine so violently, that I began shivering.

I continued pushing through, desperately trying to get to the boos. My shoulder smashed into someone and they jeered around. I looked up quickly to find myself facing Rosalie. As soon as I saw her, my face dropped and I had a huge hit in the self esteem. She smiled at me and it dropped even lower.

"Hey Bella. I haven't talked to you in forever! Come and hang out with us." She said, grabbing my elbow and pulling me into their circle. Ugh, I just wanted some beer.

As soon as I was in their group, I looked u and saw that Edward was standing right in front of me, eyes boring into mine. I gave a small, weak smile before looking back down with my rising blush.

"Bella where've you been?" I looked up to Alice's voice. "I haven't seen you all night, and where's Jasper?"

"I've been in there." I said, gesturing to the kitchen. "I don't know where Jasper is, I sent him away after he badgered me about you for a good thirty minutes." I gave a small laugh, biting my bottom lip. I looked up, to see Edward looking at me still, his jaw clenched and lips pressed into a tight line. He didn't avert his eyes, so I decided to look away. I looked to Emmett this time, who was busy staring at Rosalie. I decided that this would be the best time to play matchmaker.

"So, Emmett, I'm assuming you and Rosalie know each other?" I asked innocently.

Rosalie was the one to answer, moving her eyes to Emmett's staring ones. "Well, I've known him, but Alice actually introduced us earlier." She smiled. I looked back over to Edward, still staring at me. A bit awkward. This time though, he looked away. He put his hand into his pocket and pulled out his keys.

"Well, I had a good time. Thanks for inviting me, Bella. Even though we never really did talk. I haven't seen you but once tonight." He said, staring at me accusingly.

"Sorry." I said. He waved it off.

"It's okay, but I think I'm gong to go check on Jessica, maybe pick her up something to eat. See you guys later." He gave me a wave before making his way to the door. I heard all of them mumble goodbyes, but I didn't say anything. I had a very unexpected, and large wave of jealousy hit me, rolling through my body like a title wave. It left me stunned for a few seconds.

I wanted to cry, I could feel the tears begin to prick my eyes like needles. Why couldn't I just get over this?! More than that though, why couldn't Edward want me. Was I so repulsing? Why couldn't he come check on me when I wasn't feeling good, or bring me food when I probably hadn't eaten all day.

I pushed back the tears and forced myself to look up, only to find a petrified Alice staring at me wide eyed. I was puzzled for a second, and I knew it showed on my face. Then, oh so slowly, I started to understand.

Edward came alone. Jessica was sick. Mike wasn't here. He was with Jessica. Probably at her house. Jessica was with Mike at her house. Edward was getting food and taking it to her house. Edward was going to see Jessica at Jessica's house, where she was at…with MIKE! CRAP!

I had to stop him! I dodged through the crowd of people, desperately trying to get out. I shoved, and pushed. Nothing worked. They wouldn't get out of my way fast enough. My adrenaline was pumping through my veins, I could feel myself unwinding.

I pushed harder this time, being successful. They shoved out of my way, almost like making an opening walk way for me. I took it, running as fast as I could.

I couldn't be too late, I had to get to Edward and stop him. I had to. I couldn't bare to see his heart break, especially over another girl. I knew it sounded selfish, but I wouldn't be able to take it, watching him wallow and break over another girl. As much as I didn't want him to hurt, I didn't want to hurt anymore than I already was. I was doing this for him, yes, but for myself as well. I was a selfish person. Greedy. Horrible.

I just kept running though. I was so close to the door when something wound around my waist. I struggled, grabbing at it to make it let me loose. I scratched and pulled and jerked. It wouldn't budge. A violent shiver bolted through me. I felt a slight, warm, trickling breeze at my ear. It sent another shiver through my bones. I looked behind me to see some guy, I didn't know who he was. He was holding me, and I smelt boos on his breath. He breathed in my ear again. This time he said something

"Now, where's a pretty little girl like you planning on going. I really don't think you should be out on your own this late. Maybe I should accompany you." He sneered.

My breath picked up. I was going to be too late. He would see Jessica with Mike. Edward would be broken.

I struggled to get away. I pushed at his arms, desperately trying to free myself. "GET OFF OF ME NOW!" I screamed. Some of the noise around me stopped and as soon as I was sure that people were staring, I shoved the guy hard and pulled myself away. I lunged for the door and pushed it open. I burst out and stumbled off the porch. I jerked my head to every direction, searching the premises, looking for Edward. I spotted his car, starting to make it's way down the street.

"EDWARD!!!" I screamed. I dropped to my knees and started to cry. He didn't deserve to find out like this. How could she do this to him?! He deserved much better than her. He deserved much better than me. He deserved someone who would fight for him. I couldn't do that, I wasn't strong enough mentally to fight for what I wanted. I was stubborn, yes, but not strong.

I covered my face and cried until I felt a hand drop onto my shoulder. I looked behind me to see Emmett. He grabbed my hand and pulled me off of the ground. Alice stood next to him, and Rosalie behind him. Jasper was mixed in there as well.

Alice reached her hand up and began stroking my arm. "It'll be okay Bella." She soothed. Emmett threw his arms around my shoulders. I pushed my face into his chest and cried.

"He doesn't deserve this!" I screamed. "How could she do that to him? Treat him like that. He doesn't deserve that."

Emmett held me as Alice stroked my back. "He'll be okay." Alice said.

I nodded and walked back inside, grabbed a beer and took a seat on the sofa, and so began getting drunk.

**Jessica's POV!!**

I sat on my bed, smiling. Tonight would be the night. My parents were at a dinner party for my dad's boss. I've learned lately, that I did love Mike. I liked Edward. He was gorgeous, smart, courteous, a perfect gentleman, but he wasn't Mike. I never meant to cheat on Edward, I just wanted to get to know Mike a little better, to see if I liked him, but I didn't want to loose Edward in the process. So, I went behind his back. It was wrong, I know, but I wasn't necessarily doing anything. Just a little harmless flirting. At first anyway. Then it turned into something more. More than what I'd meant it to. I didn't mean for this to happen. For me to fall in love, but it did. It may have been wrong of me, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I loved Mike, and I'm pretty sure he felt the same way. The only thing was Edward. I needed to break up with him. I just didn't know how. He was in love with me, I knew that for sure, so I knew it would hurt him. I may not love Edward, but that didn't mean I wanted or meant to hurt him. But I was going to. What I was doing was so wrong, but I couldn't find it in me to care, because I was in love. Another reason I didn't want to break up with him was because I knew he would go straight back to Bella. He'd be with her in an instant, like I never happened to him. Even if I didn't love him, it'd still hurt just a little. Although, what I did was worse, I didn't even wait until I was out of a relationship with him. Still, I didn't care. I wanted what I wanted. And I wanted Mike, and I didn't want Edward with Bella.

Mike walked back into my room, this time carrying two soda cans. He handed me one and I pushed back the tab and took a swig from it.

Mike stood there smiling at me. I set my soda on my nightstand and stared back up at him. He leaned down all of the sudden and captured my lips. He pushed me backwards on my bed and hovered over me.

I moved my lips against his and wrapped my arms around his neck as he straddles me, pulling him closer. His hands moved up my sides, pushing my shirt up along with it.

He suddenly stopped and pulled back. I looked at him, confused. "What's the matter?" I asked in a daze.

"Jessica, I need you to know something before we do anything else." HE whispered, standing up.

"What is it?" I said, sitting back up on my bed.

"Well, you need to know…to know that I…I-I love you. You need to know that." He said sheepishly, his face turning red. I smiled, I was ecstatic! He loved me. I loved him.

I jumped off of my bed and leaped at him, smashing my lips into his own. When I pulled away, I whispered seductively in his ear "I love you too." He crashed his lips into mine again and I swooned.

We kissed long and hard, then we heard a slam. We both stopped and listened carefully. Then we heard a shuffling, then footsteps on the stairs. Mike jumped away from me quickly. He jerked the closet door open and scurried in, closing it noiselessly behind him. I stood in the middle of my room and waited for the door to open. When it did, I looked over to see Edward standing there, smile on face. He's beautiful, yes, but I just don't get the same feelings for him when he just enters the room, like I can feel his presence, like with Mike.

"Hey." Edward said, making to close the distance between us. He pecked me on the cheek, then went for my lips, but O was quick to stop him. He looked surprised for a moment, but then I smiled.

"I think I have a bug. Don't want to get you sick." I said, he just nodded. He had a bag in his hand. He looked down at it, his eyes getting wide, as if just remembering that he had it.

"Oh, this is for you." He said, handing me the bag before setting his keys, which he still held in his hand, onto my nightstand. I opened up the bag to find a deli sandwich inside. It did look delicious. "I thought I could hang out with you, maybe keep you company. I didn't know if you'd eaten yet." He smiled.

"Thanks." I said. I reached up and kissed him on the cheek. He was so sweet, but I didn't want him here. I wanted to be with Mike. "But, I'm really not feeling to well, I think I might just go to sleep." I looked at Edward.

"Oh." He said simply. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Okay then, I guess I'll see you Monday." He leaned in to kiss my lips but I tuned my head.

"Stomach bug." I noted and he nodded, heading for the door. I waited until I heard the front door open then close again before I opened up the closet door to let Mike out.

"Where were we?" Mike smiled and pushed me back onto the bed. I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck.

**Edward's POV!!!**

Well, that was awkward. What was wrong with her? She seemed like she was hiding something from me. She seemed like she didn't even want to be near me. Maybe it was just that she wasn't feeling well and really didn't want me to be sick. I don't know anymore. I would give her a little space for a couple of days. Let her send some time with Bella tomorrow, and then see how she was feeling on Monday.

I got out to my car and reached into my pocket for my keys to unlock it. They weren't there. Crap! What did I do with them. I just had them

Think. Where was the last place that I had them. I had them in my hand when I handed Jessica her sandwich, then I…I set them on her nightstand!

I hope she's not asleep yet. I needed my keys. I'd just slip in quietly and grab them, then I'd be on my way.

I made my way back to the front door and opened it very quietly. I slipped noiselessly up the stairs and to Jessica's bedroom door. I quietly turned the knob and pushed the door open. I looke u from the door knob and saw exactly why Jessica was acting the way she was.

**Okay, okay. I know, I'm a really crappy person, yada yada. I'm sorry, but it was the perfect place to end the chapter. I'm actually quite proud of myself though. It didn't take me three months this time to update. YAY!! Go me. I'm sorry for the slow updates lately, it's just that I've been so busy with school and everything lately, so it's been kin of hard to find time. But thank goodness for breaks, right? They leave me so bored, being a bum, sitting around doing nothing but eating, sleeping and running and exercising that I have to write to entertain myself. Well, anyway, I really hope you guys liked this chapter, it only took me two friggin months to come up with the very simple idea. But yeah, if you liked it REVIEW!!! Those mean a lot more than you'd think, and motivates me very much. Maybe if you're nice enough, I'll try to have the next chapter out by Sunday or Monday. I can't promise anything after that, as I'm going back to school, and I probably won't have much time. REVIEW! Thanks to you that already have!**


	6. Save Your Breath

1**So, I am so sorry for the cliff hanger thing at the end of the last chapter. It's still kind of a cliff because I'm doing Bella's POV first for this. I'm pretty sure you guys get the drift of Edward's POV. He caught Jessica and Mike, yada yada.**

**Chapter 6: Save You Breath (Hit The Lights)**

**BELLA POV!!**

I was sitting there drinking, trying to get myself drunk enough to forget about Edward and what he would see. I stopped the tears, which took a little bit of will power because my eyes were prickling with them.

I had to be on my fourth beer, headed for the fifth. I just kept chugging. Gulping them down in minutes. I stood up to go get my fifth beer when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I grabbed my beer and swirled around to see who had grabbed me.

I didn't recognize the guy at first, with his longish, dark hair, and olive skin. Then it dawned on me. Jacob, the pizza kid. Billy's son. He smiled at me. I pulled back the tab to my can and took a huge chug.

"Hey. I'm Jacob." He said politely, staring oh so obviously at the alcohol in my hand.

"I know. I remember. I met you a few days ago. You're the pizza kid right? Billy's son. I remember." I noted.

"Yeah, right. I just didn't think..." He trailed off as he watched me chug down the rest of my fifth beer. I set the can down on a random table and grabbed another out of the cooler, which we were still standing by. "Uh, how many of those have you had?" He asked, concerned.

"Six, I think. This is my sixth." I replied, pulling the tab back.

"Oh, I uh...didn't take you as the drinking type." He said, his face dropping.

"Well, I'm usually not, but I deserve to be tonight. I've had a long night. Matter of fact, a long week. It's been a little strange lately. I just wanted to be able to have a little fun tonight. Get the weight off my shoulders so to speak. You know?" I explained carefully. Trying not to slip about anything. I couldn't, because if Edward were to find out somehow that me or Alice for that matter...but most of all me, knew about Jessica cheating on him, he would probably take it all out on us. He wouldn't even take into consideration that he wouldn't have believed me if I told him anyway. He would have just thought I was trying to split him and Jessica up.

Although, he does know me better than that. He knows that I can't lie, especially not to him. He also knows I wouldn't betray him like that. Maybe I should have just told him the truth in the first place. I could have saved him from the humiliation and some of the hurt of having to see Jeessica and Mike together. Wow. I should just get drunk more often. I'm pretty sure I have thought more clearly in this moment than I ever had, when I was sober.

"Well, why don't you tell me about it. It might make you feel better." He suggested, gesturing to the couch. I followed his hand and pushed my way back over to the couch, chugging my beer on the way.

I sat down by the arm and he sat to the right of me. "Well, you see. I have this friend who is like...in love with this girl." I decided to skip over the part about me liking him. Who knows, this Jacob guy was pretty cute. He may not have been Edward, but hey, maybe I would have a chance here. I was definitely going to try. "This, girl...his girlfriend. She's kind of cheating on him. I just found out, but my other friend, apparently she's known. She just told me. I never noticed it before, but after she pointed it out to me...the way the girl flirted around with this other guy...it was so obvious that she was cheating on my friend with him. I didn't want to tell my friend because I was afraid I might seem jealous or something, so I was just going to get him to realize on his own what was happening. But it didn't really work out that way. He's at her house right now, probably catching his girlfriend and the guy she's cheating on him with in the act right now." I explained. Why had I just told him that? I didn't even know him. I only met him a few days ago, so why was I telling him my personal problems?

"Wow. That's got to suck majorly." He replied in a gush of air.

"Yeah...you're telling me. I hate that he has to go through this. That she's hurting him. He really loved her, and now she broke his heart. I don't know what I can do for him. He really doesn't deserve this." I said with a sigh. I may have been drunk, but my problems didn't exactly go away like I'd wanted, or expected them to.

"Well, I'm sorry. I really am, about your friend that is. But can I ask you something?" He said smoothly.

"Shoot." I answered with a wave of my hand.

"What are you doing here alone? I didn't see any friends with you a few minutes ago, and I haven't seen a guy either." He asked. Was this his way of asking me if I was single?

"Uh...I did have friends, but I'm pretty sure they all found someone to go be all lovey dovey with, so I just decided to sit here, get drunk and feel sorry for my self." I replied with a small laugh. I heard a low chuckle come from him too.

"Well, if you want, I could keep you company." He said, leaning in just a bit.

I smile, nodded and closed the distance, pushing my lips into his. He moved his lips expertly against mine and I felt a pleasurable friction there, where our skin touched. I didn't feel the strong want to be one with him, or the zing going through my body that was supposed to make me want to wrap my arms around him and attack him, like what happened in the romance novels I'd read. I didn't feel any of that, but it was pleasurable none the less.

It felt strangely unlike me to be basically making out with some guy that I barley know at a huge party in front of at least fifty people. Yet I didn't care. The alcohol, though it certainly didn't feel like it was effecting me, definitely was. I could litterally feel myself unwinding, and this time, it wasn't the adrenaline doing it. It was the six beers I'd drank. Although I knew this Jacob guy was basically taking advantage of me, I didn't care. It was this desire to be someone other than myself tonight. To let go of my morals and values and do what I wanted and not care about the consequences. The desire to let go of myself and pretend like nothing mattered, nothing but me and what I wanted. So that's what I was doing right now. I was being someone else. I was floating, I was so light. I let go of my problems and only worried about what I wanted and desired in that moment. I didn't care about Edward or his hurt, I didn't care if anyone saw me, and I certainly didn't care that I didn't exactly know this guy enough that I should be making out with him.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer into me. I moved my lips and turned my head to the side. I felt his tongue flicker across my lips and I pulled my lips open and gave him access to my mouth. He took advantage of my offer, throwing his tongue in and exploring every inch of my mouth. I felt that pleasure again. Not a zing, but a pleasure.

I wondered then. If it really was like what I'd read in the romance novels. I wondered if there really was someone you were meant to be with for the rest of your life. I wondered if you felt pleasure along with passion, if you felt that zing that made you want them more than anything. I wodered if I would ever find that.

Sure this guy was cute, and a good kisser as well. But I didn't feel what I wanted to. I felt the pleasure, yes, but where was the passion, that zing, that urge to be one. The want to have him. It wasn't there.

I didn't care though, if that stuff wasn't there. I could still do what I wanted to do, what I was doing. I could live off just pleasure for this one moment. So I did.

I pushed into him until my chest was pressed against his own. I let my tongue drop into his mouth. I heard a very quiet and low moan escape him. Not loud enough for the very near bystanders to hear, but I heard it, and it just motivated me all the more.

I don't know what came over me, and I don't even remember doing it, or maybe he did it, I don't know. I was drunk, but all of the sudden, I was on top of him, straddling him.

**Edward POV!!**

I leaned casually against the door frame, trying to process this. Jessica, who was underneath Mike on her bed jerked her head over and stared at me for a seocnd. Mike, on the other hand, didn't even realize I was there for a few moments and went to Jessica's neck when she jerked her face away.

Jessica was stunned, she just stared at me. I finally processed what was happening. Sh'es been cheating on me. Jessica! Alice was right. She didn't love me, she didn't care about me! Why didn't I listen? How stupid could I be? What about Bella? Look what I did to her! I could lose her for good. How could I do that to her. I hadn't talked to her hardly at all since I started dating Jessica. Then when she suddenly tells me how she feels, I told her I felt the same way then told her to forget about it! And I was actually going to believe that she would be alright to go dress shopping with Jessica, knowing that I was the one taking her to the dance.

Oh crap! I had to go see Bella.

I looked back to Jessica who now started pushing Mike off of her. I walked over and grabbed my keys off of the nightstand and left. I didn't stay longer to yell or be angry or even react. My eyes went wide and I walked out casually, even though my thoughts were wild. Once out of her room, I didn't bother to shut her door. I ran down the stairs, through the front door and to my car. I yanked the door open and started it, driving as fast as I could to get back to Alice's.

It took me around five minutes to get to her house. I ran up the porch, past the drunk kids standing around and through the front door. I looked around the living room trying to spot Bella. All there was were a bunch of half sober kids dancing to the loudest music I'd ever heard, so loud it mad emy ears buzz. I looked around again. There was a couple in the corner flirting around and starting to get touchy, another in the middle of the room, freak dancing all over each other. Then I saw Bella. Straddled up on some guys lap, sucking his lips off of his face.

As soon as I saw this, anger rushed through me, pouring through my veins and speeding my heart. I could feel the adrenaline start to pump into my blood stream. All of me became unwired in that moment, and I couldn't control myself. I had to though.

I stood there, frozen, what is happening?! What do I do in this situation. I couldn't think straight and I chose the worse possible choice, which seemed very rational and fair at the time. I grabbed the closet girl by the arm and pushed her into the wall. I crushed my lips into hers, putting my hands on either side of her face. She didn't seem to care. Practically melting under me. She moved her lips against mine and the adrenaline kept coming, overflowing me. I wasn't being rational, I knew that much. But I didn't care right now. All I wanted to do is to show Bella how it felt to be betrayed. I don't care if I was the first to betray her. I didn't care that I chose Jessica over her first. This wasn't fair.

I always knew that I wanted Bella, even when I was with Jessica. I always knew deep down that I had wanted Bella, which is why I stayed away. She had to of known that. She had to. Now she was with some guy, whom I'ver never seen, on the couch, making out! How could she?!

I doubled in my efforts on the strange girl in front of me and heard a soft moan. I felt the vibrations in my mouth.

Why couldn't I stop?

**Bella POV!!**

I kept going. Kept pushing myself. I didn't even know if it were the alcohol anymore. I didn't know if it were the alcohol, or me, me wanting so much to let go of my problems and release them, or forget about them by bussing myself with this.

I felt his hands move to my hips and move upward, pushing the hem of my shirt on the way.

This was pleasurable maybe, but I knew I didn't want to do that.

I was able to stop myself and pushed away from him. "No." I said simply.

"What?" He asked, confused, moving his face closer to mine again. He captured my lips and I wanted so bad to forget myself, that I let myself get pulled in again. I kept up the movements with my lips. After a few minutes, I felt a hand on my elbow and I was suddenly jerked away. Flying in the air.

I felt nasious.

I was half standing, being held up somewhat by something. I looked up to see Emmett.

"Bella! What are you doing?!" He yelled. My head was already pounding, like there was one of those monkeys with symbols in there, but instead of symbols, he had hammers. Ouch.

"What?" I asked confused, what had I done wrong?

"Come on." He said and pulled me into the kitchen.

"What is wrong with you?!" He yelled, pushing me into one of the stools in the empty kitchen.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I hadn't done anything.

"You were in there, groped up on some guy's lap, sucking his face! What is wrong with you. That''s not like you." He stated.

"I know. I think I drank too much. " I said, finally staring to sober up a bit to understand the situation. I put my hand to my pounding head and siged. "I've just had a long week. It seemed like a good way to get rid of my issues." I stated sheepishly.

Emmett just siged. "Well apparently you're not the only one." He mumbled, probably not meaning for me to hear it.

"What?" I asked. What did he mean?

"Nothing, look, just stay here, I'll be right back." He said, turning to leave the kitchen. "I've got to go say goodbye to Rosalie." He stated. I smiled wide.

"How'd that go by the way?" I asked. He turned around grinning. "I guess that means good?" I smiled wider. He just nodded before leaving the kitchen.

I didn't want to sit here. I also didn't want to see Jacob, whom I been a bit overaffectionate to just a few minutes ago. Thank the lord I had Emmett.

I got up and slipped out of the kitchen. I glanced towards the couch to find that Jacob had already left. I would have to get Billy's number from Charlie and talk to Jacob. I could not believe what I did!

Oh my gosh! I can't believe myself. I'm so stupid! Why am I always so dense.

I went to go upsatairs to Alice's room and maybe get some sleep. Hopefully there wasn't anyone in there. I went to turn up the stairs when I spotted that familiar bronze hair in the corner by the steps. I turned my head to see Edward. Not just Edward though. He was pressed against Lauren Mallory. They were sucking face.

I could feel the tears again. Pricking my eyes, threatening to roll over the rim. I could feel them start. I couldn't look away.

What was he doing?

How could he?

I couldn't stand him! I couldn't stand to look at him, but I couldn't look away either, as much as I wanted to. I was frozen there. I couldn't move. How did everything go so wrong? What had I done? What was he doing?

It was so wrong. I tried to swallow it, but I couldn't stop it. Before I knew what was happening, it left my mouth. "Edward?" Then the tears came.

He pulled back quickly, as if realizing something. He then slowly turned his head to face me.

He jerked away from Lauren and turned his body to me. "Bella..." His eyes were wide. I turned away from him and walked calmly up the stairs. I could hear him after a brief second began to follow me, but I didn't care. I picked up the pace and made it to Alice's door, swinging it open. I saw that there was no one in the room and stumbled in quickly, slamming and locking the door behind me.

He banged on the door for a second. "Bella, let me in, please. I really need to talk to you."

"No." I said, my voice sounding more strong and firm than I'd expected.

"Please, about that. Downstairs. I just...I saw you with that guy when I came in. I don't know what came over me, I just got so mad, and I...I-I...Bella, I'm sorry. Please, open the door." He begged.

I leaned my back against the door and slid down until I could feel the floor underneath me. I just sat there and cried.

I heard a shuffling outside the door and closed my eyes. I willed him to leave, but I didn't hear departing footsteps. I just sat there. I didn't know what had happened. I just knew that we couldn't be together, not after this.

**So, maybe not what you guys wanted, or expected. Probably not the best chapter that I've done, but I tried. It was really hard to be original with this. I'm trying to do the best I can without being to cliche. I hope that this is okay enough. PLEASE REVIEW! It means a lot. Toodles. Oh and sorry for the cliff. I'm bad with that. I know you guys have to hate me a lot.**


	7. Happiness

**Okay, so I realize it's been about what…7 months almost…? I'm so sorry guys. Everything has just been so….different lately. I honestly haven't thought about fanfiction in the longest time until lately. I've had so much going on these past few months, it's ridiculous. And I completely left you guys hanging, and I'm sorry. But here it is….and I do plan to finish this story and Hi, I'm Mr. Right, I heard you were looking for me…? (university of Chicago) I don't even know about it's all Emmett's fault though, I'll have to get back to u on that one. And I'm just going to go on and mention that this chapter is just basically Edward and Bella sorting through everything. Not anything major happens, it's just basically all conversation.**

Chapter 7: Happiness This chapter is called Happiness by elevntyseven (whom I just saw live recently) They're amazing, and I really like this song. I think that it relates to this chapter and Bella in general in this story.

A sharp, pain shot through the right side of my neck. That's what pulled me out of my dreams. My eyes jerked open…as much as I wanted to stay still and keep them closed. I threw my hand to my neck and immediately started rubbing at it, trying to release the pain. I definitely slept wrong.

Wait….I'm in Alice's room. What…? Oh shit.

And here comes the pounding in my head. I guess I should've been expecting that though. I can't believe what I did last night. What was I thinking?! I've got to be the stupidest person on Earth. How could I have done that to Edward? How could I have done that to myself?

What is my problem? It seems lately…that everything I do just makes me and the majority of the people around me even more unhappy. Why am I being so stubborn? I could just let all of this go. Just realize that I could make the best of this situation. Stop making it miserable and just….try to be happy. So that's exactly what I'm going to do.

So, right here in my best friend's room, with a pounding headache, hangover, and a horrible kink in my neck…..that's what I've decided. I'm going to let this go. I'm going to stop making the situation worse by pouting about it, and I'm going to be mature, and go on with my life. There may not be another Edward Cullen, but it's not the end of the world. We can still be friends, and as long as he's in my life, I'll be happy. I'll be okay.

I stood up with this new peace at mind, and I was determined to do this right. I un-locked the door, and pulled it open. I just didn't expect to find Edward, falling back onto the hardwood floor as I did so.

The back of his head smacked the floor hard and he just kind of laid there, still peaceful. Then a grimace came over his face and his eyes began to squint tighter. An obvious expression of pain on his face.

I knelt down quickly, and-not in an affectionate way-pulled his head up into my lap.

His eyes shot open and he just stared at me for a few moments before I let out a small giggle. He looked slightly confused at first, so I decided to make an awkward situation…well….a little less awkward.

"You okay?" I smiled while putting one of my hands to the back of his head. "That was a pretty hard fall…"

He still held an expression of confusion, so I just started to push his back, which he got the hint and pulled himself to sit up. I stood up and after dusting my hands off on my jeans, turned and held a hand out for him to pull himself up with.

He just sat there looking at me…still confused, but took the hand and pulled himself up none the less.

I'll have to admit, it's still hard, trying to suppress my feelings to convenience everyone….including myself. I'm not necessarily doing this to please the people around me. I'm doing it to make myself as well as Edward happier. I'll just have to keep reminding myself of that.

So once he'd somewhat los his puzzled expression, and was settled in a standing position, I decided to say my peace.

"So…uh…" I started off pretty well I think. "about last night…" I started to trail off to think about what I wanted to say. I guess he took that as his time to intervene.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean it. I was just…confused, and a lot happened last night, then I just realized what I've been putting everyone through, and I saw you with that guy, and I just…I just-" I put my hand up. I really didn't want to hear anymore. I was extremely aware of what happened after that.

"Edward, you don't have to explain. It's fine." As much as I wish it was true, I wasn't fine. I wanted to be, and I was trying to be, but I wasn't. Not at the moment anyway. I really didn't want to do this now, but I have to. It's for the better. "I was being stupid, and all of this mess can be blamed on me. It's my fault. I've been being selfish, and I realize that this…" I continued, gesturing between him and myself. "obviously can't work out. And if it's not meant to be…" And this is the part that's really going to hurt. "then there's nothing either of us can do to make it work. I realize I should've been so much more mature about this situation, and I'm going to try to be. I'm not going to lie. It hurts, but whatever needs to be done." There. I did it. It's done.

"Bella…wait a second. It's not all your fault. I definitely have some blame here as well. I've been an ass to you. And I knew perfectly well that me and Jessica weren't right for each other, I just kept going on with her because I thought I loved her, and I never really knew until recently how you felt about me. I've been in love with you for the past two years, and I'm sorry that it's taken me until now to tell you. I'm stupid, and I'm sorry." He finished. Why did he have to do this? I don't want to be in a relationship with him and risk losing him forever if it doesn't work out. This is just going to make everything so much harder.

What do I say to that anyway? I should be honest, I know, but I don't want to hurt him. And I know I'm going to end up doing just that. I guess better get it out now rather than later. "We can't do this. Especially not right now. Everything is so chaotic, and I don't know what I would do if I lost you as a friend if things didn't work out between us…"

"Bella, things will work out. We love each other. We both want to be together. I know you want to be with me. Despite what you're trying to do right now, you know it's not right. You wouldn't lose me, even if things didn't work out. I would still want you in my life."

"Okay, well than what about you? What about Jessica? What's going on with you two?" I asked, trying to get him to spill about what happened last night with them. My curiosity getting the better of me I guess.

"Well…" He had an expression mixed between a sarcastic smile and a grimace. If that's possible. "That didn't exactly work out…" Obviously not telling me something.

"Honesty's the best policy, Edward…" I mocked.

"Okay…" He smiled at bit, but then his face just kind of dropped. "She cheated on me…she obviously didn't love me, so Alice was right. As usual…" he chuckled a bit at the last part. Of course, Alice is always right.

"Oh." Is the only thing I could think of to say. That's a horrible response. In any situation.

"Yeah, I'm assuming you already knew a little something about that though…" He said with a jokingly accusing tone. I didn't notice the joking part though, seeing as how I just went completely on the defensive.

"What are you trying to say?!" I whisper yelled at him. Trying not to wake anyone else in the household.

"Just that I think that you were just trying to spare my ego by asking me what happened. I think you already knew what happened. You have been acting a little…weird lately."

"Okay, so I was a bit suspicious. But I was never certain." Still trying to defend myself.

"Bella, its fine. It's not that bad. Like I said, I guess I always knew that I never really loved her…but anyway…where does this leave us?"

"Lonely and confused…?" I joked. HE didn't find it that funny though. Typical Edward I guess.

"I'm being serious."

"And how do you know I wasn't?" Technically it was true. Although, he was starting to look a little annoyed, so I decided to stop. "Okay, what do you want?" Dumb question.

"I already told you what I wanted." He stated.

"Not necessarily."

"Okay, I want to be with you. These past few months have honestly been miserable for me. I want you. I want us back. Or at least what we used to be. Before Jessica." He said sincerely, reaching for my hand. I let him take it, but I did have a bad feeling about this. I still didn't think us being together was a good idea, but if we were going to be, I at least think we should wait. Rushing is never a good thing.

"Edward, we were best friends before you got involved with Jessica."

"No, it was more than that. Don't act like it wasn't. We both knew there was something there. Both of us were just too dimwitted to do anything about it." He started to pull me closer, but I pulled away completely.

"So that's why you just completely ditched me and started a relationship with someone else." I stated sternly. I wasn't going to get conned into this. I was determined to do this right. To get everything out in the open and dealt with.

"Bella, I love you, what else do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me how you can say that you loved me then, and that we were always more than friends, and explain how even though you apparently felt that way, how you could go and say that you fell in love with someone else." Oh, I was on a roll. Although…I don't see this ending too well.

"I don't know. All I can say is that I know I had feelings for you before all of that happened. Honestly. I just…I just got confused. Jessica and I started talking, and I guess I was just flattered, and that got in the way of my real feelings, I couldn't see past the flattery and the fact that she acted like I was the best thing that could've happened to her. It was just a huge boost to the ego. I'm not saying I used her, just that she made me feel good about myself, and I messed up. I see now that I never had real feelings for her. I'd rather have you, who doesn't act like I'm the only thing in you r life. You certainly let me know that I'm definitely not the most amazing thing in the world, and that's probably a good thing." At that I giggled a bit.

"Thank you. I just…needed to know what happened. And know that I do have strong feelings for you, it's just…after all of this, it just seems that our being together is just causing so much chaos. Maybe we just need to give ourselves a little while to think things through. Maybe see where things go. You know? I'm not saying we can't ever be together, I just think it would be a good idea to think about things for a bit." Lets just hope you don't go finding another Jessica….were my silent thoughts.

"I guess I can understand where you're coming from. This whole thing has been a bit…crazy." He said

"So we're agreed then? We're just taking some time." I was just trying to get everything straight.

"Agreed." Was his answer.

"So, then you're ok with going back downstairs and grabbing some breakfast then…?" I smiled, and right on que, my stomach started growling.

After giving a small chuckle he nodded, and we headed downstairs to the kitchen.

"There they are!" Emmett shouted after we arrived in the doorway. "Everything…good between you two now?"

I nodded and walked over to him, giving him a huge hug while whispering in his ear so that only he could hear. "Thanks for being my brain last night…" He just smiled and nodded as he went back to cooking his pancakes.

**SO, it's probably not exactly what everyone wanted, and it's probably not that great, but I tried, and like I said, things are a bit off lately, so I'm sorry if updates are infrequent and the writing has a completely different voice. I hope it's decent though, so thank you guys who have stuck in there and been nice about the wait. I enjoy reading your thoughts, so review and I'll probably reply to it. Thanks again!**


	8. The Way We Talk

**So…I'm excited that I made the next update…and once again…I'm so sorry I made you guys wait so long. I really didn't have a choice. I've had so much to do…and I also have quite a bit to do over the summer as well…or at least after this week…hopefully. So I'm just going to go ahead and warn you guys that after this…most likely my updates again…won't be extremely frequent. I'll try to get everything done as soon as I can though. You'll have to be patient though. If you want to get angry …you can yell at my teachers. So anyway…**

This chapter's named the way we talk by The maine.

Chapter 8: The Way We Talk

Edward pov:

Geez…this music was killing me. Alice and her poppy crap. She's been at my house all day, hanging around, trying to 'make me feel better' with her crap music. But then she got tired of my griping and went to talk to my mother.

I'd been sitting in my room all day moping. I had no life, and I have absolutely nothing to do. My phone is, as of right now, about to be thrown out of my window.

She won't stop calling me. I don't understand it. She obviously wants to be with Mike…she did cheat on me…so why is she calling me?! I don't want to talk to her.

I picked up my phone and flipped it open. 18 missed calls just from today. 5 new voice mail…and 6 unread messages. It's ridiculous!

I don't know. Maybe I should call her back. She may have screwed me over a bit…but I guess she still deserves to be respected if anything.

I decided on just sending her a text.

I opened up my inbox and read the messages the had sent me.

"_Edward…I'm sorry. Please, just call me. We should talk."_

"_It didn't mean anything. We haven't done anything. I promise. I was stupid. Please just talk to me."_

"_Ok, I know you're angry. You have a right to be. I was stupid and I messed up. You didn't deserve that. Just please answer your phone…"_

"_Edward, I'm sorry."_

"_Please answer your phone. I want to talk to you."_

"_I just want to explain myself. You don't have to make a decision. I just want to talk. Please call me."_

Ok…so maybe I'm being an ass. I'm going to call her. That doesn't mean I have to get back together with her. But I should at least hear her out…give her a chance to explain herself.

I closed my inbox and dialed in Jessica's number. After putting the phone to my ear, the line rang twice before I heard a voice.

"Edward? Hello?"

"Yeah, it's me…" I replied.

"How are you?" She asks. Hmm…I wonder. What kind of question is that?

"Uh…I don't know. Decent I guess…" I answered nicely.

"Oh…so how's your day been?" Why was she trying to make small talk?

"Jessica…my day's been crap. You wanted me to call you…I did. So what do you want to say?" I was trying to be nice at least. That's got to count for something…

"Okay…so, I know I obviously hurt you. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. You weren't supposed to find out like that-" I cut her off.

"So you planned to let me know some other way that you were cheating on me?" I asked a little harshly.

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?"

"Okay, honestly…I wasn't planning to tell you about the cheating part. I-"

"So you planned on lying to me for whatever amount of time we would've continued dating?"

"I didn't say that either! Just let me finish."

"Okay…continue then…" I stated after waiting a few moments for her to go on.

"I met Mike…and I liked him. We had been flirting around for a while, but then I really started to like him. He had asked me about my relationship with you, and obviously everything with us was great-"

"Obviously not if you felt the need to go behind my back and lie to me WHILE messing around with some other guy…"

"Would you stop interrupting me?! I never MESSED AROUND with him. We did nothing outside of kissing."

"Didn't look that way to me! It looked like guys were about to start something more than kissing from my perspective."

"We didn't do anything! Yeah, we were going to…but I couldn't have done anything after you ran in there and saw us like that! How could I have done that without feeling like a shitty person?! Now, can I please finish?"

"Whatever…"

"Edward, don't act like that. You're being childish. Just hear me out. Okay? I'm not saying that you have to forgive me, or that you have to continue dating me. I just want you to let me explain."

"Okay, explain."

"So anyway…of course I was still in love with you…I still am…I just…I don't know. I was just something new, and he was great to me…and…well, we started hanging out. We did otherthings of course. I went out with him a few times. I never planned on letting go too far…I was just trying to decided…or see…if I should still stay with you…if there was someone out there that was better for ME. It was never supposed to be like that. And you weren't supposed to get hurt. I never meant to do that."

"So…as I not good enough then?" This wasn't mean. I was more upset now than angry. I guess it's finally hit me. I don't know. Maybe I did have strong feelings for Jessica…despite what I've said to anyone else.

"Edward…I didn't mean it that way. You know that."

"I don't."

"Of course you were good enough. As a matter of fact…you're probably too good for me. Know I still do love you though."

"Yeah…I just…why did you cheat on me?''

"I wasn't trying to cheat on you. It wasn't supposed to be like that. And like Isaid before. You were great to me…I just wanted to see if I could find something better for me. That's not meant in a bad way either. So I don't want you to take it like that."

"I just…I don't know…"

"Tell me…" She demanded.

"Well, I mean I just…I really liked you. Or I thought I loved you, but then this happened, and I was just mad, and I was falling for Bella all over again. Although I don't think I ever even stopped. Now I realize that despite what I thought two days ago, and what I told her…I still do have feelings for you. But then again, I do love her. A lot. And that's not a put down on you, like I said, I still had…or have feelings for you…I don't know…I'm so confused right now."

"Wait…you've already got things started with Bella?" She asked a little sadly.

"Well…frankly I was angry at you…and I didn't feel that I still felt anything for you…and I've always had something for her…it just kind of got distanced when me and you started to well…have a thing." I replied. That didn't make me sound like an ass at all…I would probably seem like the world's jerkiest guy. I'm not trying to play anyone. Like mentioned before…no one said I'd be getting together with anyone….wow…I'm a jerk.

"Oh, well then I guess my purposal would be kind of worthless and stupid since you've already decided to move on in the last two days…" She said kind of angrily. What kind of proposition would she have anyway?

"What are you trying to get at Jessica? Just say it."

"Well…if you were willing to forgive me for my stupidity…I was kind of wondering if we could try to give us…well, a second chance…?"

I waited a few moments before replying. I wouldn't mind giving her a second chance. Not meaning getting into a relationship with her…but just talking to her and seeing where things go, but what about Bella? She'd hate me. I couldn't do that to her.

"Edward?" Jessica's voice came through the phone.

"I'm still here." I answered.

"So…what do you think? Be honest. I don't want you to say something just to make me happy, then me end up getting let down in the long run. And if you'd rather be with Bella, I do understand…although, I won't like it. I want you for myself." She gave a bit of a giggle after the last part. It was anice laugh, but not as melodic as Bella's. I couldn't answer her right now. I still wasn't even sure what I wanted. I do love Bella…with all my heart. But I know I still have feelings for Jessica. What does a person do in these situations? It's impossible for me to let go of Bella, and I couldn't just go off and start talking to Jessica and get things with that started up again…and without even talking with Bella about it. Geez…I wish these things were simpler…

"I don't know what I want right now Jessica. I mean…we can still talk and everything, but I have to get this figured out. I couldn't tell you what I really want right now because I don't even know. As I said before. Just…why don't we just give it a little time…and if it happens, well then it happens. I don't know-" I was cut off by an annoying, bubbly voice.

"Edward!" Alice sang out from my door way.

I moved the phone from my ear and looked over to her.

"Yes, Alice?"

Alice looked as if she was about to go into her sentence, but then stopped, and began a different one. "Who are you talking to?"

I glanced at my phone for a quick moment, and thought about telling Alice, but then decided that maybe it wasn't a good idea. "No one…"

"Obviously it's someone. You wouldn't be sitting there holding th hpone up to your ear for no reason." She stated.

"it's nothing you need to worry about. It's not important." I continued while covering up the bottom part of the phone with my hand.

"Is it Bella?" Alice asked in an annoying, pressing tone.

"No, it's not. Could you leave me alone?" I asked.

"It's not nice to talk to your best friend like that Edward." Alice stated dryly.

"What do you want Alice?"

"Oh yeah, you got me sidetracked. Do you care if Jasper comes over to hang out with us? He's so cute, and charming. He's so smart, and just…just-"

"I don't care, Alice, invite him over."

"Someone's down in the dumps today."

"I'm sorry, I'm just not in a great mood. And I was having a conversation." I stated.

"Oh, well, you might want to cheer up buddy, because Bella's coming too!" Alice beamed after she was done and pranced out of the room.

My mouth hung open a bit, and I realized I was still on the phone.

Crap, what am I going to do about this?

"Hey, Jessica, I'm going to have to call you back tomorrow…" I stated a little unnerved.

**So…how was it? I know you guys are probably angry right now, but I promise, I have a plan…sorta. Well, actually, I just thought this up on a whim, but hopefully it'll be good. Review and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is good too, just don't be harsh. And if you have any ideas or anything, I'd love to hear them. Thanks everyone for reading!**


	9. Happy!

**So, sorry about taking a while, but like I said…I won't be able to update often due to my busy schedule. But anyway…if any of you guys have a myspace and you're life revolves around music like mine…you should add this one chick. Her name is Haylee, and she's kinda running this organization on myspace called "Spread the Sound". It's basically to help the small bands that have an awesome sound, but little recognition…well…get more recognition. To help them gain some fans. This is the link, but just take out the spaces. Cause fanfiction won't let me put it on here.**

**www. Myspace .com / ima_dork_really**

**Add it seriously. Give some support.**

This chapter is called Happy, by Nevershoutnever! You guys should really check out his music. It's beautiful.

Chapter 9: Happy

"Bella's coming?" I asked Alice as she stood in the doorway to my room.

She laughed. "Nope, I'm just kidding…she's already here!" She bounced and clapped her hands excitedly. "OH! It can be like a double date! Oh, I'm brilliant." She smiled and looked at me.

Alice's smile faded when she saw the frustrated expression I wore on my face.

"What's wrong?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Nothing." I sighed.

"Is this about Jessica?" She asked, her easy going wide a little.

"No…" I said, unconvincingly.

"Edward! Tell me, honestly, that this isn't about Jessica."

"Well, I would, but since you said honestly…" I kind of chuckled at my wittiness.

"EDWARD! You can't do that! What the hell are you thinking?!" She whisper yelled at me, so as to keep Bella from hearing I was assuming.

"I'm thinking that it's unfair for Bella if I rush into something with her when I still have feelings for Jessica-" I started but was cut off.

"Edward…seriously. For one, you and Bella decided you were going to take this slowly. Two, you told her you didn't have feelings for Jessica anymore! That you were only flattered by her infatuation for you, and that you had always loved Bella. Three, she's you're EX GIRLFRIEND! Asshole." She stated, crossing her arms while leaning on the doorframe with an infuriated expression.

"I know, Alice. But then I talked to Jessica today and-" Cut off again.

"YOU TALKED TO HER! Edward, seriously. You can't do this to Bella. She deserves so much better than that kind of treatment, and you know it."

"What kind of treatment are you referring to? I don't recall mistreating Bella." I remarked, getting a little annoyed.

"Lying to her, telling her that you're over Jessica, that you always had feelings for Bella, that you wanted to be with her, not Jessica, and leading her on, then going behind her back and talking to Jessica." She said matter-of-factly.

"I didn't lie to her, I do have feelings for her, and I thought I was over Jessica, and that it was just infatuation, but I was obviously wrong. And lastly, I'm not going behind anyone's back. Jessica called, and I answered…well, technically I returned her call, but still. I'm not going behind Bella's back."

"Well, are you planning on telling Bella about your little conversation with Jessica?" Alice asked. She was obviously frustrated with me, as I was with her at the moment, for making this situation more difficult than it already was.

"Well…I mean…I would've. Eventually." I replied.

"Edward, if you're not planning on telling her, then that is what we refer to as 'going behind her back'."

"I don't need this right now Alice." I stated harshly.

"You're bringing it upon yourself. You're making an ass of yourself, Edward."

"Alice, I'm not doing anything. I'm just confused right now, okay. I'm not for sure if mine and Jessica's relationship is going anywhere as of this moment. Back off."

"I'm not going to back off! Bella's my best friend and I'll be damned if I just sat back, knowing that you were ultimately going to end up hurting her. Another thing, you and Jessica aren't in a relationship anymore. You're broke up, remember? Don't you remember why you broke up? She cheated on you Edward."

"She wasn't trying to cheat on me, and technically, we never really officially broke up. I just stormed out, and that was the last of it. And I have no intentions of hurting Bella." I said.

"You're being stupid. I can't believe Bella hasn't realized what an ass you are. First, you hurt her by leading her on, then completely ditch her for some bimbo who cheated on you. Then you tell Bella that you've always had feelings for her, only to lead her on again, and get back with your ex. Who cheated on you." She stated as she turned to leave, but then she stopped abruptly and turned back around, facing me. "Another thing, you better tell her. I will if you don't. You're one of my closest friends, but I love her, and you've been acting really ridiculous these past few months. You've hurt her already. Big time. You better get this straightened out. I'm trying to be supportive with you, as is Bella, but you're pissing me off right now, and someone needs to give you a mental slap in the face. Don't make the same mistake twice, Edward. Bella is an amazing person. She doesn't deserve this. Don't be stupid with this." She said, starting to gain a little composure before she turned back around and made her way down the hallway.

I sat there for a few minutes trying to calm myself down, because I was slightly infuriated myself. Who the hell was she to lecture me about my love life?!

As this thought left my head, there was a light knock on my door.

I turned to see Bella standing there with a small smile on her face.

"HI." She stated simply before slowly making her way over to the black, leather couch I was currently seated on.

Although I was angry, I couldn't help but melt at the sight of her.

She was beautiful.

What am I doing?

What am I going to do?

I think that at this present moment, I should do something about the gorgeous girl standing in front of me.

I smiled at her, and hers widened in response.

"Hello." I replied before scooting over and patting the spot next to me, gesturing for her to sit.

She did. Then her face turned red.

She looked very awkward and uncomfortable.

I shook my head at her and leaned back onto the couch.

She just kept looking straight ahead.

She was beautiful.

"So…" She said. A feeble attempt at starting a conversation.

I laughed before replying. "So…" I repeated.

"How has your day been?" She smiled, then blushed, turning away again.

"Frustrating." I replied simply, before reaching over and cupping her face with my right hand, turning her so that she was facing me. Her eyes went all gooey, which made me laugh a bit.

I couldn't resist, with her all flustered looking like that. And not to mention, I've wanted to do this for the past 9 months or so.

I leaned forward, pulling her face to me as well.

I brushed my lips ever so lightly against hers.

My eyes were open, I took her in.

Her perfect face. The way her lips twitched slightly at the contact with my own. The small puff of air that left her mouth when her face was but an inch from mine. The beautiful blush that crept up her face when she realized what was happening, yet didn't do anything to prevent it.

I moved my hand upward to let it rest flat on the side of her face. Feeling the smoth, milky skin of her cheek.

I ran my thumb along her cheek bone, feeling the perfect structure of it. Then I pulled her face closer, really kissing her.

Another puff of air left her mouth, along with a small squawk.

It was cute.

This was all I wanted.

I never felt this with Jessica.

The need to take her in. To see, and feel every part of her. To just be close to her, and melt into her.

This is what I was feeling with Bella now.

Her lips parted ever so slightly, letting out a very small amount of air when they did. I took advantage of this, pushing my bottom lip between hers while pulling her closer to me once again. In attempts to deepen the kiss.

My efforts worked.

She pushed closer to me, placing her hands on my chest, pushing me backward slightly. I obliged and fell back, her falling onto me. My hands moved to her waist, pulling her upwards, while hers fell on either side of my face, pulling me to her.

It was the best thing I've ever felt. This contact with her. It was amazing. Why had I so willingly kept myself from this beautiful girl, from this amazing feeling, all this time?

I wanted her. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to feel this as much as possible. I would make her mine.

I wasn't going to mess this up again. I will be with Bella.

Because this…this is all I really want, all I'll need.

I sound like a girl, but I don't care.

I pulled away so that we could breathe. I smiled and looked up at Bella, who was blushing furiously, looking away, one of her hands resting on the side of my face, while the other lay flat on my chest.

I reached up, and again, pulled her face over to look at me.

"I like this." I said sheepishly, smiling. She let out a small giggle, he shoulders shaking slightly. Then I pulled her face back to mine and placed a small, gentle, innocent kiss on her full, sweet, swollen lips.

Then I sat up, and repositioned her to sit on my lap.

She cuddled into my chest and I kissed her hair, still smiling.

I loved this.

Then it was ruined, along with all of my plans when I heard chatter, getting louder as the culprits of it came closer, and Jessica was standing in my doorway.

"Alice, I'll be out in a minute, I just need to talk to Edward." Jessica spat at Alice. Then she turned around to me and opened her mouth to talk.

But, then she saw me, with Bella still slightly snuggled into me.

Of course, I was too shocked and panicked to even speak, let alone try to reposition Bella and myself.

Well, shit.

**So, how was it?! Review and tell me how you liked it, or if it was any good. I know I keep adding drama, but I couldn't help it. I mean, this story _is_ in the drama category. BUt anyway, tell me how it was. Don't hate if you didn't like it. Constructive critisism is nice, but it's very crappy to be mean. Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing, and to everyone who has kept with me, and continued looking for updated chapters when I got very busy and didn't update for like 7 months. Thanks for anyone reading. haa.**

**Don't forget to add that organization to help the small bands, spread the sound. It'd make me really happy if you did. She's doing an awesome thing, even if it's small to you, it's still helping other people.**


	10. The Second That You Say

**So, I'm kind of proud of myself for balancing this story with my excessive homework. So, thanks to everyone who has been reviewing. You guys are really awesome, and it means a lot. So , I hope that you all were ubber cool and added Spread The Sound over myspace. That would also mean a lot.**

This chapter is called The Second That You Say. A song by the lovely, and wonderful musician, Chase Coy. Check him out.

Chapter 10: The Second That You Say

Edward pov

I don't know what I was thinking. What the hell had I gotten myself into?!

I didn't love Jessica, but I decided to tell her I did anyway, and now…here I was, trying to explain this to her, only to have her accuse me of leading her on, etc.

That isn't even the worst of it.

As soon as Jessica saw us, she erupted…big time.

She starts yelling about how I cheated on her—even though we still weren't re-official yet—and making accusations. So of course, Bella's all confused and whatnot, and Jessica gives her a smug, smirking smile, saying "Oh, you didn't know? I guess Edward hasn't told you that he called me…" At this point she turned pointedly to me, glaring "today and told me he still had feelings for me and that he wanted to get back together!" She finished, her voice rising an octave with every word.

Bella, at that point, had a non believing expression masked on her face.

Because of course me, of all people, her best friend, the one that's suppose to be there for her, the one who admitted that he loved her, and wanted nothing but to be with her, and swore he didn't have feelings for this girl who was revealing this information to her, wouldn't ever do that.

But the best part of the whole situation was that…I did. (hint the sarcastic tone.)

So, in conclusion, I'm an ass, and a big one at that.

Maybe I should have told Bella what had happened straight up instead of making the original plans that I did.

I am the world's biggest ass. Well, not really, but I'm still a big one at that.

"Why would you tell me you still loved me if you didn't mean it?! You could've just told me. I would've understood, Edward. But instead, you lied to me!" She turned and glared at me after she stopped her pacing.

We were currently in my bedroom. Jessica came barging into my bedroom, started yelling. Bella—whose expression I couldn't even bare to replay in my imagination after assuring her that what Jessica was saying to her was true—got up abruptly and left the room, all sad faced and whatnot. I certainly caught that as I nodded my head after Bella turned to me, silently asking if Jessica's statement was true. Her face immediately fell, and I saw the tears well up in her beautiful, muddy eyes, right before she pulled away from me harshly and left the room.

That was when Jessica's wrath fell upon me.

I've been planted in the same spot on my leather couch since Bella took a seat on it beside me.

"I didn't mean to lie to you. I just had a change of heart when Bella came over today. It's as simple as that. Feelings change Jessica, and I can't help that." I was trying my best to be polite and sympathetic, but I had to of given her this same explanation to the same question—only asked in a different way—ten different times. It was starting to pinch my nerves.

Jessica was in no way a bad person, she was decent enough. It was just that…she can irritate me sometimes. She was a nice enough girl, but she has a tendency to be overdramatic at times, and slightly shady.

"You're feelings don't just change in the matter of an hour and a half, Edward."

"Obviously mine do." I reciprocated.

I wasn't as much worried about this current argument as I was Bella at the moment. I hadn't heard her car start, which hopefully meant that Alice had talked her into letting me explain at the least before she stormed out, never to talk to me again. But there was no use in that. We had to talk.

Bella and I had this connection, and I know she had to feel it too. We couldn't just _not_ communicate with each other.

Of course, I'm not saying that_ that_ in its self gives me permission to do as I please, not that I would anyway, I wanted to make her happy. I didn't like seeing that sad expression covering her beautiful face.

I would have to make this right somehow. I would obviously have to tell her the truth.

Which was that I loved her more than anything. And then some…which included mine and Jessica's conversation.

I realized now that I was blocking out mine and Jessica's current conversation and snapped back to the present moment.

Jessica was in the middle of telling me how shitty I am and how I completely wasted the last three months for her, and so on. I cut her off.

"Jessica, listen. I'm truly sorry that I've ruined prom for you. I'm an ass, and I should've thought through my feelings more before I decided to tell you what I did. I know now that I don't really feel for you that way as much as I did, or thought I did for that matter. But sitting here arguing about this isn't going to change anything that already happened. So why don't we just call it a day?" As I finished saying this, she huffed and stormed out of my room, and I heard her clacking shoes as the stomped down the stairs.

I sat there for a few moments, bent over, elbows rested on my knees, and my face in my hands, thinking about how I would explain this to Bella, before following Jessica's suite and sluggishly making my way down the stairs to Bella.

Bella pov

I shoved my way out of Edward's room after having found out that Edward was planning on getting back together with her, and then having him confirm it.

He used me!

What am I to him?!

Obviously not much.

I trusted him. I loved him. Fuck, I've waited for him, and was still planning on waiting for him for as long as it took for him to get his shit together. But this…I didn't deserve this.

This was not fair.

I guess mom was right when she would always say that. That life's not always fair.

It never is really.

That one of the few things I remember about my mom.

She died when I was really young.

For some reason though, I still think about it. It wouldn't be abnormal if it weren't for the fact that I barely remember her. Her name was Renee. Edward was really the only person I ever really said anything about her to. He always nodded and comforted when needed. He never really spoke out about how he understood, or how he knew what I was going through…because he really didn't. Instead, he was just there for me, and listened to me and comforted me with his silence.

He's changed. He isn't the same Edward that he was when we were so close.

I can't help but almost wish we had that back. Before love or relationships found their way between us. Just ol' Edward and Bella. When we were best friends. It hurts, what's happening right now.

And although I almost miss our old friendship…I can't deny that every time I see him, I just get this feeling. You know, that one that makes you want to draw little pink hearts all over your math paper? The one the leaves you smiling like a fool for no apparent reason before you even realize you're doing it. The feeling that just makes me gush over him every time I see him. Even if he doesn't acknowledge me, I just smile ridiculously, even in my mind, when I see him.

Because just being around the boy makes me crazy. He makes my day worth the trouble. Because he's just that amazing.

And as much as I sound like a mind boggled, babbling teenage girl right now….it's all so incredibly, and sadly true.

So as I stomped my way down the spiral stairs (trying not to cry as I so often do), realizing this, I also realized that Edward was worth the trouble, despite the fact that he was being an ass.

So when I reached the door, before Alice put a hand on my shoulder to stop me, I stopped myself.

I turned around and headed for the kitchen. I was sure Edward would get around to coming down here and talking to me. And, as always, I'm sure he had a very well thought-out and reasonable explanation/apology.

I felt whipped, but I probably am.

Oh well.

If whipped means just having a flash of his beautiful, crooked smile to make my heart flutter, then I'm all for it.

Because he has a way of turning around my terrible days and making my mind wander off to him whenever I hear one of those silly little love songs.

But I'm a love crazed teenager like that. But I have absolutely no problem with that as long as I get to have him in the end. Only because this pain that he's causing me now is nowhere near in comparison to the pain I felt when I hardly had him in my life for only three months.

So anyway, I decided to take a seat on one of the various bar stools that surrounded the island counter, and rested my elbows on the marble top, letting my face drop into my hands.

After a few, long, agonizing moments, I heard the footsteps proceeding in my direction and peeked up to see Alice standing hesitantly under the arch that combined both the kitchen and the dining room.

"Bella?"

I lifted my head to look at her.

"Emmett's here. You want to talk to him?" She asked, looking over her shoulder towards Emmett, who was already making his way into the kitchen, regardless of whether I wanted him to or not.

"Hey Bells! How are you?!" He asked, excited grin in place.

I couldn't help but smile back.

"Not too incredibly bad. Outside of a few inconvenient occurrences." I grimaced at that.

"Ugh, tell me about it." He threw an arm around my chair while leaning back in his own seat.

**So…tell me how it was! Reviews are beautiful and make me extremely happy on a bad day, which have been a normal occurrence as of late, so leave me many of them!! Haha, I sound corny and peppy. But anyway, thanks for reading, everyone. It means a lot. I hope this chapter met your standards. Oh, and although I'm not planning on continuing It's All Emmett's Fault right now, I do have plans for a new story after I finish this one. But I'm off to go do psychology homework.**


	11. Hey

**So I realize that its been a couple months. Sorry. Haha. I've gotten really busy with the more primitive things in life, like school. ****But, I'm back, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. :) Oh, and thanks to everyone who has reviewed. ****It really does make me happy. I love going to my email and having like…23 unread messages in my inbox for favorite story/new review. :)**

**This chapter is called "Hey" by Backseat Goodbye. (I just recently went to his show…on my birthday ****no doubt, along with Goot, and Ladybug Landslide. It was amazing, and he is fabulous. You should ****listen to him if you like good music.)**

Chapter 11: Hey

Bella Pov

So as I sat leaned back against my chair, laughing at Emmett's ridiculousness, I heard my name called from the entrance of the kitchen.

"Bella?" Edward said, barley above a whisper.

I looked over to see him with a sullen, hesitant facial expression. He looked so vulnerable and upset. I almost felt sorry for him until I realized that this was his fault, and that we could've been perfectly fine and content, making out in his room right now if it weren't for his stupidity.

I reluctantly got up and walked over to him, then past him, leading the way to the front porch.

He followed me out and we had a seat on an old bench that sat out there, both of us facing forward, not looking at, or talking to each other.

"I'm so stupid." He said after a few silent moments. I didn't reply. I refused to make eye contact with him. Even though it was difficult to accomplish. He needed to know that he really hurt me. He's hurt me a lot, and I'm tired of letting him off stark free. He has to learn that he can't keep doing this to me just to have me completely forgive him without a second thought just because I love him. I do love him, and I do forgive him, but he needs to get his shit together. I miss the old Edward. The one that could never even unintentionally hurt me. This Edward said things that hurt me. He did things purposefully that hurt me.

I didn't know this Edward.

"Bella, I've hurt you. More than anyone deserves to be hurt. I've been incredibly horrible to you. I Deserve this. You're silence. I know I do. I don't expect you to still want to be with me, or even forgive me for that matter, but know this. I really, truly do love you, and I'm very sorry. For everything. For putting you through all of this mess. For not just following you straight down here instead of listening to Jessica tell me what an ass I am. And I am an ass, not for leading her on, but for hurting you. That's what kills me the most. That I hurt you." He paused. He's said all of this without even looking at me. Just staring at the scenery right in front of him. He was deep in thought. I knew he was trying to think up a clever, witty thing to say to make me laugh in this tense, uncomfortable situation, like he'd always done before.

Before all of this.

Before Jessica, before we became what we are now. Before we both started to feel the pain of the mistakes we've both made that ultimately created this whole mess. Before this, he was always able to show me the humor in every painful situation.

"You know, when you think about it…when you look back only a few months ago, or even a few years ago, before we even became friends, it seems so strange that this is what we've become. That this is our lives. It's like we would have never expected any of it, but yet we could always see that something was going to happen. Like our whole lives have led up to just this one point, this small climax with many more to come. It's like a never ending expectancy. We are always waiting for another moment of insight, another moment of sorrow, pain, happiness, joy. Just another small turning point in our short lives. We live in wait. Constantly waiting for something to just…happen" I looked over then and saw that he had a slight smile on his beautiful face.

Like he was happy with himself for saying this like he did, for once again relieving the tension.

"I know." I replied. Such small, insignificant, cliché words. But they meant so much at this point.

He was right.

This argument between us now, it just looked so small and trivial to an outsider, but to us, it was everything. It was just so big to us that it seemed like if things didn't go right, if this ended badly, the story would be ended with a horrible, sad conclusion. The kind that makes tears roll silently down your face because you were so hoping to obtain this happiness in the end, but it was just the opposite. It was an ending of pain and hurt.

I wouldn't let this end like that.

I knew that I was suppose to be with Edward. I loved him, like I've felt about no other person in my life, I cared for him like I never even imagined I would care for a person. I've always imagined what falling in love would be like, and of course I've had those boyfriends that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, but in reality they were nothing compared to this. This was just…right. Everything about it. Me and him. This situation, this possible ending though, it wasn't, it was wrong in more than many ways.

"Bella, I love you. More than anyone." As if he's read my thoughts. "Seeing that expression on your face upstairs. It hurt. It hurt because I'd hurt you. It hurt because I know that I've changed into this worldly image of every man." He looked at me now. And not just looked, but really…looked. His deep expression in his eyes caught my own. I couldn't help but listen to and understand every word. The ones he spoke, and the ones he gave to me silently. "I want you to know, that I'm still the same person you've thought and known me to be up until lately. I've always been that person, and still am. I'm still the same person you fell in love with. I've just gotten quite a big head lately. I've acted ridiculous and thoughtless. I'm not. I'm here now. I'm back, and I'm me again. Please don't stop loving me. Please don't let my stupidity these past couple of months ruin this. I love you. I want to be with you…" He paused again, and I waited silently "for the rest of my life. I can't take back the stupid things I've done to make you feel the way you do now, and I don't know how to make you feel better. I feel very helpless right now. I want to take it back." He stopped, but the intensity of his stare did not.

Alas, the most sentimental words that he's spoken to me since all of this started. Since he confronted me in the hallway about shopping with Jessica. Since I became friends with him. Edward's always been sentimental with me, regardless of his distance from most people. It's just usually, he only held me and comforted me silently.

Now though, he didn't dare touch me, but yet caressed me in every way. I smiled.

"Well, as long as you're sorry, and know that you're a stupid ass." He looked somewhat puzzled for a moment before those lips stretched up into that amazing, crooked grin that made me weak at the knees. "I love you."

"You're so cute." He laughed out as he reached a hand around my neck and pulled me to him.

**So that's that. I know it's very short, but it expresses what it needs to. I think the last phrase speaks ****for its self. They're fixed. Everything's better. ****So, please review and let me know if this was ****anywhere near decent. Thank you guys, everyone whose stuck in there with all the long waits on ****updates and kept reading. Especially to my reviewers. You all mean a lot. :) I think I'm going to do one ****more chapter. It may possibly be an epilogue, or maybe a continuation. Or maybe both, but I'm really ****set on just one more. Let me know which you'd prefer. Epilogue, or continuation. Maybe that'll help ****me out. Thanks again for reading, I'll try to be quick with my next update, no promises though. I've ****got a lot on my plate lately. ****until next time. :)**


	12. Together With the Sundown

**Okay, here it is. I hope you guys like it. I started writing it in class today. Lol. Thanks for everyone whose taken the time to read this, and especially to my reviewers. All of you guys have helped a lot.**

Chapter 12; Together With the Sundown by Stephen Jerzak (originally)/Chase Coy

So, obviously Edward and I weren't totally worked out. We're on good terms, and yeah, we love each other. This was big though, the fact that just a day after he professed his infatuation and love for me, and claimed that he never really loved Jessica, that he's always wanted to be with me, that he had just realized this, he goes and tells Jessica that he may possibly want to still b with her, I've them another shot. It was big.

It hurt.

It really did.

I'm thinking that me and him would just have to get to know each other again. He's changed a lot. He's not my best friend from just three months ago. He's a completely different person, and if we're being honest here. I hate that. I really do. I want him back.

I've changed as well. I now know what depression feels like. The whole wanting to kill yourself because you can't see things getting better, but you absolutely can't live in the situation that you're in. I know the feeling.

Maybe not that drastic, but still.

This would take a whole lot of effort and work to correct the situation.

I just wish I had him back. I mean, sure, he's the same human being, but not the same person. I still love him, but he's not the absolutely amazing guy that I fell in love with. He was just so…relaxed, and down to Earth then. Now he just seems almost…high maintenance.

I've told him this. I was just as honest with him as he was with me.

And he wants to go back to that too…and not just for me. But for himself too, because life was simpler then. If only because he made everything simpler. He made the biggest situations seem smaller, just to help belittle the feelings. Whether the feelings be pain, or hurt, or just to keep from embarrassing himself and acting hysterical. I'm not saying that he was just plain dull. When there was something to be happy about, Edward was happy. He could walk around all day with a thick smile on his face, awe-ing everyone in his path.

I guess rational would be a better word for this…

Edward's rational. He doesn't freak out about every little thing. He isn't dramatic. He's easy going and fun to be around. HE was at least…

I'm being a complainer.

I'm done, I'm happy that he's trying. I'm happy that he's come to his senses and has stopped acting so…ridiculous. He makes me happy.

I was lying in my bed on this atypical, sunny Sunday, only just waking up from an afternoon nap. Today was my lazy, thinking day.

My hair was only brushed and air dried, no make-up. My clothing consisted of a white t-shirt, which clearly made my black bra visible, but that didn't really matter, seeing as how I won't be doing anything today. My jeans were kind of big, but in a fashionable way. Dear old friend, Alice would approve. I was feeling quite similar to an old Raggedy Ann doll, just all sprawled out on my bed, old, plain clothing, hair all unmanaged, and wavy. I just felt plain limp. I didn't want to move, and didn't have any intentions to.

That is until a small rap at my window jolted me out of this unmoving state. Looking over, I could see Edward somewhat awkwardly balanced on the small, white gutter, and a large tree branch. I stared at him for a moment before he made a quick, uneasy movement to hurry me along.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him, clearly annoyed and concerned after pulling the window up.

"Well, I was in the neighborhood and all, and I just through I'd come give my old friend, Bella, a visit," He said with an easy smile as he pulled one long leg through the window and climbed in.

I couldn't help but smile back at his happy face. He seemed so at ease. He didn't have that strained face, trying to keep up the happy. He didn't have that stressful demeanor to him. He was just so…bright today. Although, I haven't really noticed, until now, after I'm seeing him so just…relaxed and happy, that his face was even strained to keep up a smile. I hadn't noticed until now that he had seemed so stressed.

"Friend, huh?" I commented, jokingly, with one raised eyebrow, smile still set on my lips.

Edward looked up carelessly, meeting my gaze, smiling bright. "Hey, I love you," He said before leaning in and giving me a sweet, small peck on my lips. I closed my eyes and kept them closed even after he pulled away. Noticing this, he leaned back down and kissed my forehead. "Nice attire by the way," he chuckled out.

I opened my eyes and once again observed the somewhat see-through white shirt I displayed and laughed, uncaring.

I plopped down on my bed, letting my upper body fall back onto it, my hair sprawled out every which way. A smile still playing at my mouth. I felt the edge of the bed sink in and looked up, seeing Edward smiling at me.

"Why didn't you just use the door?" I asked, suddenly remembering his odd entrance.

"Just thought I could use the practice…" He laughed and leaned down to kiss me once again.

Well, here come the small, pink heart scribbles all over my math homework.

I couldn't help but mentally and physically smile at this thought.

My Edward was back.

**Okay, just the epilogue left after this. Or maybe this could be the epilogue in a way. I don't know honestly, I really like this ending. Should I leave it at this? You guys tell me what you want, and I'll sleep on it. Tootles. I hope you all enjoyed. Leave me reviews. *smiles* And I also realize that this is super short, but hey, it's happy. :)**


	13. author's note on epilogue

Ok, no epilogue. I know everyone wanted one, but I really like this ending, and think that any epilogue would kinda ruin this ending. Sorry guys. But….I am going to be posting a new story in a couple weeks. I've got 2 chapters written on it so far, but I want to get a little more done before I post it. I hope you guys like this next one. It's definitely different than the other stuff.

You all are amazing! *smiles happily* thanks to readers and reviewers.


	14. Luv Addict

**Okay, this is just kinda a follow up chapter. About Rosalie and Emmett, alice and Jasper. Just because, even though I really didn't plan on doing anything with them outside of just playing around the supposed relationships, I felt like I should give you all better insight into that…so here it is.**

Btw this chapter is called luv addict by Family Force 5. :)

Side Chapter: Luv Addict

Jasper pov

Moving in with Bella, while easing my usual stress, just puts me into a whole new situation. And not a comfortable one at that. There's just all of this…tension. Especially between Edward and Bella. That much was obvious. They weren't hiding their conflict very well. They both so very noticeably had something. They weren't the only ones though. Alice, whom I have to say I'd become very fond of these last few weeks, was no much better. She seemed almost…mixed into the situation as well. I guess that Kind of goes without saying though, seeing how her and Bella are close friends. I just don't see the problem here. Then again, no one's really bothered explaining it to me. Bella just escorts me around, and introduces me to her friends. That's about it. I love her and all, I mean we're decently close, but she seriously needs to get her shit together.

Oh well, she'll get it dealt with. None of my business, nor do I want it to be.

Alice on the other hand, man would I love to be up in her business. I'm pretty sure it was love at first sight…or maybe not. It might have just been lust. Although, I don't think I can be blamed here. The girl is gorgeous. I'm pretty sure she has a bit of a crush on me. Whatever you want to call it, a girl's infatuation. Not that I would mind getting to know her and doing the whole dating thing, but I just didn't really care what type of relationship I would have with her. And I knew there would be something like that…some form of relationship. We so obviously had a connection. I had to have her.

We had been talking more over the past couple of weeks I've been here though. Her flirting is relentless, not that I mind. Just that most of the girls I'm attracted to are much more discreet about it.

I did like her though. She's a very charming girl. Beautiful. A brilliant and gorgeous mind as well. I most certainly planned on perusing something with her. Anything, as long as I could have her. It was odd, that I would feel such a need, or maybe want for one person after only knowing them for such a short time. But this was something that was bigger than me. So I would set aside my barriers and dating rules this once, and go on instinct. Not because I wanted something different, but only because I didn't have enough will power to stop myself from feeling this about her. From being around her. It was a new and strange thing for me, but might as well give it a whirl. Don't want any regrets on my hand. Regardless of the fact that I was heading to college all too soon. If this worked out, I'm almost positive that we'd find a way to be with each other. Because I knew this was mutual. This strangeness. I knew she felt it too. And like I said, it's almost a need to be with her, so we couldn't not find a way. It's just what it is. And neither I, nor her could really change that, even if we wanted to. So, it may end up being stupid and reckless later, but for now, so be it.

Emmett pov

So Alice's little kick ass party, although not as amazing as mine were when I was in high school, was damn awesome. Plus, not to mention, Rosalie. She was hot. I'd known her from Forks High, and I'd talked to her a few times, but we'd never actually kept in contact. Honestly, I've always taken her for a selfish, conceited bitch. But hey, looks can be deceiving. She's actually pretty damn cool.

I planned on calling her up today actually. It was my last day in town and I figured we could go out for lunch or something. A little late notice, but I knew she liked me, and although she may act like she's bothered by my lack of planning, she'll be giddy on the inside, jumping at the chance to go on a date with me. See, I know girls like that. That's what's kept me going with the ladies all these years. I'm a good reader. I may not be the smartest person around, or even that clever, but I'm a champ at reading people, specifically women. They were so easy. Most of them were quite similar anyway.

I picked up my phone and flipped it open, scrolling down to the contact I had added just two days ago, and pressed dial.

It rang a few times before a raspy voice picked up on the other end.

"Hello?" Her voice was sexy as hell. It's strange, but it's me.

"Rosalie?"

"Yes?"

"It's Emmett. I heard you just cleared your schedule for the day to go out to lunch with this absolute hunk of a guy. Lucky you." I said, letting a hint of a smile drip into the statement. A little cocky, but that's my style. The ladies love cocky.

She laughed. It was gorgeous. I knew I'd be making a fool of myself plenty more in the future just to hear her laugh. "Well, I think you may have misheard, Emmett. My schedule is much too hectic and chaotic to clear anything this afternoon…" She finished suggestively.

My heart dropped. I was sure. She should have said yes. I knew she liked me, I was positive of it as a matter of fact. What if she wasn't busy? What if it was an excuse to get rid of me? That certainly hasn't happened before…

"But," She continued, before I got to consumed in that idea, "I do have an empty slot tonight at eightish. It's kind of late, but I'm sure that if this "hunk" is at all interests, he'll show." She was a confident, this one. Oh well. I don't usually give in and let my persuee control me and my plans. Usually, if they don't want to do things how I like, then we don't do them, period. This one was different though. I could see this getting somewhere with Rosalie. She was quite amazing.

"Well, I'm absolutely positive that this guy will show. Just let him know when and where…" I smiled to myself, knowing that Rosalie was special. She meant something.

**Okay, obviously not that long, or detailed, but it gives you the basics. I wanted to leave it open for interpretation, but give you some of the basics as well, and some form of an idea of what went on with these other two couples. :) I realize this isn't great, or near. Just something though. I hope you guys liked it at least a little. Let me know. :)**


End file.
